Watch This When You're High - Stoolie Email - How Did Greetings, Handshakes, and "Hellos" Come About?
Received a long email from a stoolie named Laura titled "No Butt Stuff".
Aw, man ... I just realized Not Butt Stuff is probably what everyone titles their emails to you after tuning into one of your “Watch This When You’re High” links. Damn. I could have dug a bit deeper there ... although Not Butt Stuff WOULD be a killer name for an adult beer league sports team or fantasy team something. You’re welcome, and, if I were you, I’d already consider reading this email a win for you. Because, obviously, you now don’t have to think about what you’re calling your NCAA Bracket entry this year. Boom. So, we're keeping the subject line as-is. Now on to the reason I’m calling ...
Ok, so I do happen to be quite stoned right now, and I go into a DEEP THINK about the custom of greeting people ... how the specifics differ from culture to culture and have likely evolved with time and innovations in grooming and clothing and weaponry and who knows what else, but, in essence, the greeting is really an establishment of the initial power dynamic between those two people. Which, at times, is mutual (as it's supposed to be in shaking hands ... which, as I learned from reading someone's blog on Barstool last week, was a means to demonstrate no weapons were being held or something like that), but, in cases of like bowing or curtsying to someone or something like DJT’s comically-ridiculous handshakes, could not be farther from the appearance of mutual to those involved, as well as anyone observing. Anyway, not sure if there’s a YouTube vid about the origin of greeting customs, butI’d tune in, for sure. Even if I was not high. Especially if I was not high, in fact, so that I could better retain the info.
Related side note: part of my deep dive into the custom of greeting people, and the reason I was promoted to email you, involved my thinking about how awkward and funny (two of my favorite things, especially when they happen together) it can be to greet awkward and funny people. Barstool KB immediately came to mind. I feel like such a strong opening move, if any of you Chicago guys still have yet to meet KB for the first time, would be to just lock him into a stare immediately upon being introduced. Go into it being mentally prepared to die on the hill of not looking away first in this initial interaction. If you stand there starting into one another's eyes for hours, so be it. If he breaks the stare early in the exchange, try and pin him into another one, and another, until he finally plays ball. Kid's a wrester, he'll get it. If you have to, make it obvious that all you want to do is stare him down until he physically removes himself from the interaction. I can’t decide in my head if he’d commit to holding it, not engage, start talking about it ... fuck, I’m not even sure what I’d do if I were him, but I sure would be interested to find out.
Anyway, thanks for all you guys do. Your Chicago crew, of course, and really Barstool as a whole. The site’s content honestly helped me retain my sanity during quarantine. I was so amazed at the creativity (and, moreso, at the courage and vulnerability) demonstrated by everyone who put themselves out there. Especially with no roadmap, and especially especially at the very beginning when nobody had no idea what we were doing. Those first few weeks were truly the wild west for everyone, and I'm sure the feeling was magnified tenfold for those in media and content. Team Barstool was all in the exact same boat the rest of us were in, and you just started doing you again, albeit in quarantine and maybe with a little less polish, but what was put out was so authentic that, at least from my perspective, the world outside started to feel at least a little bit more “normal” for Stoolies across the globe. You guys gave a lot of us something to look forward to and laugh about and discuss at a really bleak time. Thank you! I have been a Stoolie for nearly a decade, and this is the first time I think I’ve ever reached out - I am proud to be a member of the Barstool community, now more so than ever, and anyone who doesn’t understand why clearly has never attempted, and will likely never attempt, to try. Fuck 'em. They're missing out on something really special.
Cheers,
Laura
Thank you Laura. Great email and nice surprise to find in the inbox.
And even better, great suggestion. How did "Hello" and greetings come about?