The Patriots are Releasing 'Behind the Scenes with Ernie Adams' and I've Never Been More Excited for Anything
Sweet mother of all that is sacred. Is this even possible? To what do we owe this? Have we done something to deserve it? If so, what? Because we should've done it years ago. Besides, I thought the Pats would stop doing these features after losing a draft pick over the one about the advance scout that pointed a camera at the Bengals sideline. So this is a true blessing, indeed.
Ernie Adams is such a mystery that until he appeared in the first "Do Your Job" special Kraft Productions put out, I wasn't convinced he even exists. I thought he might be a figment of Bill Belichick's imagination like the Paul Bettany character in "A Beautiful Mind." Or an alter ego. Belichick in glasses and a mustache, the Tony Clifton to his Andy Kaufman. That documentary came out over five years ago, and still the enigma that is this International Man of Mystery remains. We know barely more about him than the fact he exists. But what he does exactly is shrouded in secrecy. Something the world outside of the walls at One Patriots Place can only speculate on.
And the riddle that is this man goes back a long way. As I'm mentioned here before, when Belichick was in Cleveland, Art Modell became famous for saying "I have $10,000 for anyone who can tell me what Ernie Adams does." That was in the mid-90s. Here in late 2020, we'll finally get an answer. Or a partial answer.
Does he break down game film? Identify tendencies? Draw up plays? Make personnel decisions? Listen to the bugged visitors locker room? Jam the Steelers helmet radio signals? Hack into the scoreboard? Control the weather? I'm beyond excited. All of New England has been starved for information on this mythical man that any tiny, infinitesimal nugget is going to feel like a banquet.
Most of all, we want answers to the last mystery this trailer mentions. "Pink Stripes." I asked Belichick about it in person on the radio and he said he didn't know what it meant or why it was on Ernie's white board, but he'd look into it for me. A week later, he said he hadn't gotten to it yet, while I incredulously asked "What have you got going in you life that's more important that this question." Which was impertinent, I'll admit. And out of character, given whom I was talking to. But that's how big the stakes are on Pink Stripes. Like I feel if we can unpack the full meaning behind those words, we'll change the course of humankind. Like it'll cure diseases, reverse the aging process and give us clean, limitless energy or something.
It's going to be a long couple of days getting to Sunday. And don't anyone disturb me because I'll be in my room wearing a robe with candles lit, lotion at the ready and Lionel Richie on the speaker.