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I'd Like To Think I Will Still Go To Movie Theaters But I Also Can See A Future Where We Never Go To Movie Theaters

 

You know what's nuts? I saw this news today and it triggered a memory of a blog I wrote back in 2014. And I want you to think about how silly of a blog title this sounds now, but how big of a deal it was back then. Ready?

 

NetFlix Continues Its Takeover, Will Start Releasing Straight-To-Netlfix Feature Films (And Theaters are PISSED)

 

 

That was 2014! We got streaming movies for the first time and people could not believe their eyes. Wait- you can watch a movie at home on your laptop or TV? Wild! We don't think twice about that now but a short 6 years ago it was a brand new concept. And being the smart person I am, I was all aboard:

 

Going to the movies fucking blows most of the time. So of course movie theater owners are freaking out about Netflix realizing the theater industry is a dying model. Why change and adapt to the times when you can whine about it instead? 

I will say every so often seeing a move on the big screen with the enhanced sound is great. But most movies just aren’t worth the hassle or the price. I hope this becomes a trend. We already have had straight to Netflix TV series succeed, would love if a major director/producer goes straight to Netflix too. Crush the current theater model into a pulp until they have to stop being cash sucking whores.

 

"Would love if a major director/producer goes straight to Netflix too". People did not think it would be possible for a straight to Netflix movie to succeed. But yet, look at us now. And finally, the major movie studios are following suit, as Warner Bros entire 2021 catalogue will be streamed. Movies from home, look at us now!

I wrote in a blog the next day after Adam Sandler signed with Netflix to make 4 new movies:

 

I hate the 20 dollar food, I hate those people who talk on their phones the whole time, I hate having to fold up in my seat to let some yenta use the bathroom ever 4 minutes. I hate not being able to pause it to take a poop, and I hate that you have no idea what the fuck happened in the movie theater seat before you sat down in it. 

 

I must have been angry that day, because I don't think I'm that anti-movie theater, but also back in 2014 we were a lot more prone to hyperbole in blogs than we are now. Kinda wish we got back to the aggressive style of blogging, but I digress. I truly do like sitting home and watching movies over going to the theater. Every so often I do enjoy getting a $15 bucket of popcorn, slathering it with butter, and eating my weight in candy as well, but for the most part I like watching at home, pausing when I want, playing Drop7 on my phone the entire time, playing with my ding dong, ordering pizza halfway through, pooping whenever I want. 

So I don't know- will movie theaters be a relic of the past by the time we get to our grandchildren's generation? "Grandpa, you used to have to leave your house and buy a ticket to see a MOVIE? How OLD ARE YOU????". That's a completely reasonable conversation you might have in 40 years. We went from never having streaming movies to having entire movie studios streaming in the matter of 6 years, so the concept of a movie theater not even existing in 40 years isn't crazy. 

So I don't know. Movie theaters will have to evolve and adapt, but who knows what the future holds. It's all very interesting to me, at least.