CYBER MONDAY FLASHBACK: Is Smitty A Gigantic Wuss For Almost Getting Shot In The Head By A Paintball Gun While Calmly Sitting At His Desk?

CBS11/30/2020 8:00 PM

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[Editor’s Note: Original Blog posted after this War Of 2018. Oh, and this is solely a Clickbate Smits production. All about the content, pageviews, and jokes!]

(We'd post the video to show how actually close it was as Smitty was sitting exactly where the chair is in the photo facing in the direction of the bullet, but the office capture, very inconveniently, wasn't working at the time! Oh well!)

Well…OF COURSE SMITTY IS A GIGANTIC ~~PUSSY~~ WUSSY [Editor's Note 2.0: 2020. Can't be too careful nowadays.]! Why would he even expect to sit at his desk in an office and NOT be almost hit by a fired projectile coming in at anywhere between 240 and 280 feet per second (fps) (163 - 190 mph)?!?!!? Head on a swivel, bitch!!! Clickbait Smits would've taken that bullet to the face and turned it into straight cash money for the company! What does Smitty do? The snowflake actually gets UPSET that his "Safe Space" inside a business setting was violated and he came very close to getting seriously injured! It doesn't matter Smitty knows someone who messed up his vision while playing paintball! What a pussy!

Also, bossman Davey Pageviews had NOTHING to do with it at all! Nope! It was all dumb dumb Office Manager Brett's doing! He's the one who pulled the trigger! Blame him! Brett just must've randomly heard that employees were going to be forced into getting paintballed and he was following more random orders on his own! What an idiot! I bet afterwards Brett wanted to throw the paintball gun in the Hudson but ordered the Uber to go to Kazakhstan, too! The Lord Of The Content holds no responsibility for what goes on in his lands! No reason for that ~~pussy~~ tender labia Smitty to be upset! In fact, this was all Kevin Clancy's idea in the first place! Blame him! You heard your boss, Smitty! Duly noted! Go back to your desk, ya dink!

PS - Absolutely love this guy even equating dodging bullets in a wartime scenario to a blogger pissed off about almost being shot, unprotected and without warning, at their cubicle desk. Thank you for your service.