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Carson Wentz Turnovers Recipe

Food And Drink. Shutterstock Images.

Ah, incredibly crusty & flakey! 

According to bakingamoment.com a 'turnover' is,

…a classic pastry made by spooning a simple apple filling into the center of a square of pastry, then folding the square into a triangle shape, encasing the filling. The turnovers are then baked to golden brown perfection.

According to theeaglesareactuallybad.com a turnover is,

…a classic blunder made by a simple QB being a total square, then that square folding under pressure, encasing the team in despair. The turnovers are then about to be baked when they're accidentally handed to the other team; a golden brown football, tossed to perfection. 

Recipe: 

1 stick butter to match the state of Wentz's fingers

2 tsp hey Jason Peters what the hell are you doing, besides NOTHING, while we're at it?

50 lemons, extra bitter

1 pkg puff pastry (completely deflated & stale)

2 Yuengling tall boys, for coping

3 Parliament menthols, bummed from neighbor on stoop when you can't watch anymore

1 bushel extremely bruised apples to match current fan ego

Set oven to 'HELL FIRE' for 2 hours, let apartment get real smokey so you can go back outside again & stare at the curb.