The Plot For Space Jam 2 Has Been Released Annddddddd, Yep, This Movie Is Going To Be Complete And Utter Ass

Run from it. Dread it. Destiny awaits. We knew this was coming. There was no stopping it. There was absolutely no reason to recreate Space Jam. We need to stop recreating everything from the 90s just because it was awesome growing up then. Because this is the shit we get instead. This just sounds way too much for fucking Space Jam. Navigating through never-before imagined world with iconic movie scenes? I know it's Disney, but I hope it's movies I like. Give me scenes like these that LeBron and Bugs have to navigate to find Bronny: 

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And the name Al. G? That name stinks. I'm supposed to believe someone named Al G kidnapped Bronny? I don't think so. Bronny is a pro athlete (E-sports) who may or may not have been grounded according to Odell Beckham for smoking weed. But sure Al G is the one I'm supposed to be scared of. Mr. Swackhammer was a legit bad guy name. You throw 'hammer' and Mr. in there and you got yourself a bad guy. Al G just sounds like someone from White Men Can't Jump. 

Shit, we already know the jerseys are - and I quote Coley here - two packs of ASS. 

I wanted to give this movie a fair shot because I love Looney Tunes and basketball. But seeing the uniforms, seeing the plot? It's going to be fucking awful. In the mean time let's remember the good times

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Now I will take back everything I said if they just let a high Klay Thompson wander around this make believe world and narrate what's going on. Let him talk scaffolding, let him talk track and field. If you make Klay the star of the movie, bump it up to PG-13 and let him cook, we're onto something here.