Russian Cleaning Lady With ZERO Political Background Enters Ballot To Help Out, Wins Election In A Landslide
This is the stuff of nightmares. One moment you're cleaning houses, the next you're in charge of said houses.
"That doesn't sound so bad Ethan. Sounds like an upgrade if anything"
Wrong. Who the hell wants to get into politics? I'd much rather live a life of vacuuming rugs and cleaning shit spots out of toilets. You have to be a real sick fuck to even consider any sort of life in the political world. This woman already made her choice. She chose to live a calm, normal civilian life. I always wondered if you were allowed to reject the position if you were to win a vote. Like can this lady just hit everyone with a firm, yet gentle "no thanks" or maybe just never show up? It only feels fair.
How exactly does one come to power with zero political background? Beats me. That being said there has to be some reason this woman is now the big kahuna of this village.
For the past four years, Marina Udgodskaya has scrubbed and mopped the offices of the local administration building in Povalikhino in rural Russia.
That nice, quaint life this woman was living? Gone. All to shit. Now she has to deal with other people's problems.
Now the 35-year-old cleaner is downing her dusters to move into the boss's seat, after winning an election earlier this month that she only entered to in order to get him reappointed.
When no-one in the village signed-up to challenge Nikolai Loktev, who's from the pro-Kremlin United Russia party, he persuaded Ms Udgodskaya to register as his "rival" to ensure the minimum requirement of two candidates.
That plan backfired when the cleaner beat him by a landslide.
All-time backfire for Nikolai here. He manages to get someone who is going to be the alley to his oop in this election. Couldn't have been more wrong apparently. In a LANDSLIDE, no less. It's almost as if he was trying to throw this election.
With zero knowledge on the Russian government, one can only imagine the gigantic piece of shit this guy must be if he literally lost to a last-second replacement who - quite frankly - had no business being in the election in the first place. He made it so there was no possible way he could lose… yet he lost.
I don't know how or why it happened but this guy has to take a long look in the mirror and figure his shit out. Not even that he should care, it's hard to imagine that there are a lot of perks that come with running a small ass village that apparently hates your fucking guts.
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The biggest question here has to be why did he need an opponent to run against? Like why is there a minimum for candidates? As much as everyone would love to turn a rural Russian village into their own political monopoly, it feels safe enough just to let one guy run if that's all that's available. What's the worst that can happen?
'She was flabbergasted'
Uh, ya think? She went from "just put your name on the ballot so we can at least have an election. You won't win so it's not a big deal" to sitting directly in the driver's seat of this village so goddamn fast. I mean, the cleaning business sounds a whole lot better to me. Now she has to deal with important responsibilities, making sure a village doesn't burn to the ground. Far too much for someone who was on the ballot as a fucking favor.
All that being said, she does have the power now. Sure, this will probably lead to nothing. Marina will probably go her entire term with people trying to use her as some sort of political puppet.
"I think she'll cope. The whole village will help. Though of course, her education needs a bit of a boost."
Like it or not, Ms Udgodskaya is stuck with her new job. If she refused the role, the Pensioners' Party which is backing her says she'd have to pay for the entire election to be re-run.
It prefers to paint its candidate as a Cinderella figure than an accidental winner.
As long as the village is behind her, I'm behind her. Who even cares anymore. It's just a stupid title anyways. Here's hoping that this is the start of the Udgodskaya dynasty in rural Russia. That's all I'm rooting for. I hope this all leads to this woman becoming the supreme overlord of the world. Step by step, brick by brick.