Advertisement

The CDC Is Trying to Cancel Thanksgiving

LauriPatterson. Getty Images.

As the calendar approaches a turn to October and with autumn officially in full swing, the CDC has turned its eyes upon Thanksgiving — and it wants to shut it down.

Giphy Images.

The CDC proposed guidelines for this year's Thanksgiving which, for all intents and purposes, would effectively cancel the holiday entirely if they were followed.

COED
  • Having a small dinner with only people who live in your household
  • Preparing traditional family recipes for family and neighbors, especially those at higher risk of severe illness from COVID-19, and delivering them in a way that doesn’t involve contact with others
  • Having a virtual dinner and sharing recipes with friends and family
  • Shopping online rather than in person on the day after Thanksgiving or the next Monday
  • Watching sports events, parades, and movies from home

A "virtual dinner"? What the hell are talking about here?

To be totally honest, this development has put me in a precarious position. Because while I am against the attempted canceling of an American cornerstone holiday, I'm what some might call a Thanksgiving truther. It's a bad holiday. It's too close to Christmas and nobody actually wants to be around their entire family for a whole day — that's why we have football on.

But with that said, I'll become the biggest Thanksgiving defender you've ever seen before I'll let the CDC turn the premier event of the fall into another Zoom meeting. You can catch me at Aunt Ruthie's house having a grand old time. I can assure you I will not participate in any virtual Thanksgiving activities.

So in 2021, I will return to my Thanksgiving takes. But as for me and mine this holiday season, we will be celebrating the blessings the Lord has bestowed upon us this holiday season. Amen.