The Guy Who Blew It For The Cubs Tonight Has A Glorious Mustache
Alexa enhance
No chance you get mad at that mustache, especially when coming into the game you know Andrew Chafin sucks. But more importantly, you don't get mad at that mustache out of respect for that mustache. Andrew Chafin is 30 years old going on 53 with authority. Probably carries a spittoon with him into church on Sundays and butchers his own meat.
Granted I know a lot of you want to accuse Andrew Chafin of being some hipster pussy for that mustache. That he moans his girlfriend's name during a coarse handjob while radiohead plays in the background. That you'd rather ghost ride his single gear bicycle down Milwaukee than watch him throw another pitch in a Cubs' uniform. Lots of confusion here so let me be clear that Andrew Chafin owns a real man's mustache. He will not be fire roasting his own Guatemalan coffee beans tomorrow morning. He does not ride the bus ironically. He doesn't buy into the Trader Joe's hype.
Another thing he doesn't do is record critical outs against underwhelming power hitters, which obviously fucking blows for the time being.
On the bright side, there's a game tomorrow and the Cubs will be playing in it. Best not to waste another second getting mad about tonight because you'll have plenty of chances tomorrow. For now have a few cold ones and enjoy a great mustache on Andrew Chafin.