Boy Scouts Ban Water Gun Fights Because Pointing A Firearm At Someone Is Not "Kind"

Gawker – The Boy Scouts of America, a paramilitary children’s organization inspired in part by the exploits of the young Mafeking Cadet Corps during the Second Boer War, has forbidden its present-day members to shoot squirt guns at one another. A blog post for adult Scout leaders on the Scouting Magazine website reports that under the rules in the 2015 Boy Scouts of AmericaNational Shooting Sports Manual, “Water guns and rubber band guns must only be used to shoot at targets, and eye protection must be worn.” Wearing safety goggles to shoot squirt guns on a firing range might sound a bit restrictive, but the Scouts’ other options are even more limited. The manual goes on to offer a very long list of prohibited items, including boomerangs, spear guns, crossbows, ninja throwing stars, and bottle rockets. Scouts are also barred from using “[m]arshmallow shooters that require placing a straw or similar device in the mouth.” Paintball and laser tag are only allowed if the guns are used to shoot at targets, rather than at one’s fellow Scouts or other human beings. The Scouting blog elaborates: Why the rule? A Scouter once told me this explanation I liked quite a bit: “A Scout is kind. What part of pointing a firearm [simulated or otherwise] at someone is kind?”

I never did the Boy Scouts growing up. Shit was gay as fuck. To be honest, I didnt even know the Boy Scouts still existed. I thought it all just fell apart once everyone realized the leaders were trying to bang the kids.

But if all that molestation stuff didnt kill the Boy Scouts, this water gun ban will certainly do it. I mean can you even pussify the Boy Scouts? That was all already pussy to begin with wasnt it? This ban just made it that much more of a pretty vagina. Like they waxed it and vajazzled it and stuff. I didnt think it could pussified further but here we are. Cant have water gun fights because thats not “kind??” Get lost, Boy Scouts of America. I can understand banning ninja stars and cross bows and fucking spear guns. Dont need medieval weaponry in the Boy Scouts. But marshmallow guns? Fucking water guns?? The Super Soaker 50 was one of the most important things I’ve ever owned in my life

I wouldnt be the man I am today if I didnt blast my friends directly in their eyeballs with this thing. I mean I guess in defense of the Boy Scouts, Super Soakers these days are probably up to like 25,000 and are probably like a fire hose. Way more dangerous than ninja stars and bow and arrows and shit. Police were probably using Super Soakers in Baltimore to control the riots. But bottom line is banning water guns because aiming a “firearm” at another person isn’t “kind” is the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard. What do the Boy Scouts even do now? Just sit around learning how to tie knots in ropes. Thats it. Might as well have them put on an apron and sell cookies with the Girl Scouts. Take away water guns and we’re all just a bunch of Brownie bitches.

PS – Fully support the rubber band ban, though. Shooting rubber bands at someone is the most dangerous thing you can possibly do. I don’t care who you are or how tough you are, someone aims a rubber band at you and you will complete wilt with fear. Put your hands up to block them and start ducking and wiggling and writhing in fear and you say shit like “DUDE. Dude STOP. For real. Its NOT FUNNY. Cmon stop fucking around. DUDE STOP.” Terrifying.