BREAKING NEWS: NICKELBACK IS DOING SOMETHING ON 8/14!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOO

White Sox Dave8/10/2020 4:17 PM

BOOM!!!! This is the BIGGEST news of summer. PLEASE GOD tell me it's a new album. FOH here to all the lemmings that operate solely and totally by hive mind; Nickelback fucks and I couldn't be more excited that everyone's favorite group of Canucks are *maybe* dropping their first album in 3 years. Taylor Swift and Folklore can straight up pound sand. Take a back seat, toots. This is Chad Kroeger's summer.

I mean just look at this luscious flow:

Giphy Images.

If you didn't have a seizure from the GIF above, you'll notice our guy Chad has the best flow in music outside of Billy Joel. Just locks of gold that most men would give a left nut for. And I didn't even get to his voice. The voice that gave us hit after hit after motherfucking HIT.

Hits like "This Afternoon"

Hero:

Rockstar, that featured everyone's favorite blonde Heff girls:

and Animals:

If you didn't run out to Animals as your HS varsity football team won state, you probably didn't even go to a school that has about a billion state titles like I did. PUMP UP MUSIC LIKE YOU READ ABOUT.

Oh and there are about countless other hits. Perfect summer music. It's been a REALLY shitty start to the week but this gives us a light at the end of the tunnel. Hold on to your butts, assholes. Nickelback is about to turn this summer from a really bad one into a REALLY good one one raspy voiced, cliche song at a time, and I haven't even gotten into his pristine, perfectly aesthetic goatee thing he has on his chin.

I feel like Cartman waiting for the Wii to come out right now. If I could cryogenically freeze myself until Friday so time is halted until it drops, I would.