Perfect Gift To Get Your Wife When You Die: A Dildo Filled With Your Ashes

Whether it be a break up or death that leads to you and your girl separating, the last thing you want is her getting that good dick elsewhere. Some other schmuck wants to come in and start paying for dinners and dealing with her work friends being mean? That’s fine. But you want to know you left a lasting impression down there. You want the new guy to know he’s got big holes to fill. What better way to do that than a glass dildo filled with your dead remains? Think that may cause a lot of headaches for her next man? Think he might get a little self-conscious when she’s cheating on him with a dead dude? That’s the definition of haunting someone from the grave. I’ve heard of relationships falling apart because someone won’t get rid of a picture, or clothes. Think how he’s gonna feel every night when your wife rolls over to grab your ash dick because the new guy just ain’t cutting it. Rest in peace knowing you won the fuck out of that break up, even if you’re dead and it wasn’t technically a “break up.” Still counts. Winning a break up is better than living.

ht tim