Hey Cuomo, Just Let Us Drink Dude

Why does everything have to be so god damn difficult? I mean JEES LOUISE. Yeah, I said it, JEES LOUISE. Bars are out here struggling to stay alive. Grasping for every fucking penny and nickel they can get. Working 7 days a week with limited staff to try and make some take home money to feed the wife and kids. And Cuomo is now trying to make it even hard on them, but WHY? WHY DAWG? WHY? 

It shouldn't be this difficult. Before lockdown and Covid, you could walk into a bar and order 50 beers and 0 food without an problem. Coronavirus and lockdown happened and all the bars had to shut, so they wised up (credit Cuomo) and decided bars could do drinks to go. But they added the caveat you had to purchase food with the drink. And to their credit, I didn't mind paying 25 cents or a dollar for a bag of chips. It's pretty nice to grab a drink and a bag of chips and walk down the sidewalk. Plus it reminds you to eat while drinking, but on a budget.

But now Cuomo is saying that ain't good enough.

NY Post - Aides to Gov. Andrew Cuomo reversed course Wednesday and ruled that pubs and restaurants can’t just sell potato chips with alcoholic drinks as a way to comply with a new order that bars the sale of booze without food during the coronavirus pandemic.

It’s another blow to and hurdle for bars and eateries with liquor licenses trying to survive during the COVID-19 crisis.

“I operate a restaurant or bar, and I understand that I must serve sandwiches, soups, or `other foods’ when a patron orders an alcoholic beverage, can you tell me what constitutes ‘other foods’?” the question posed by SLA asks.

Answer: Hotdogs, chicken wings and salad pass muster — chips do not.

What are we gonna do, eat a god damn Caesar salad while walking down the street? Stick chicken bones into our back pocket? Chips were the perfect food and now they are not considered food at all. Fucking blow me dude. I mean not literally, I don't think you'd be that good at it, but you get what I'm saying. 

It's bad enough we can't belly up to a bar and drink our sorrows away, now we can't even grab a single drink to go without ordering an entire meal with it??? That's crazy. You legit can't go to multiple bars and order drinks anymore. They are making it impossible to drink, and more importantly, impossible for the bars to make money. Fuck this. And I didn't even have an opinion about Cuomo until this blog, but now I hate him. Don't get between me and my alcohol and my bar owner friends. And the entire reason he's doing this is because he is embarrassed by the phrase "Cuomo Chips". 

Dude, embrace it! That's a sick legacy to leave behind! Much better than killing everyone's grandma!

He can take away our chips, but he'll never take away our right to get drunk outside. And that's a promise.