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Major League Baseball Is Trying To Get Me To Order Dominos Tonight And It's Probably Going To Work

I mean what the hell is that MLB? This is how we're going to announce our coronavirus protocols? If I didn't know any better I'd think Dominos partnered with MLB to make this graphic. With no fans in the stands maybe they've resorted to this tactic to make some extra cash for the greedy owners. It wouldn't shock me in the slightest. Whoever made this graphic needs to be fired into the sun for what he/she is about to cause me to do. 

Now here's the thing about Dominos. It's obviously not better than New York City pizza. Anytime I tweet about Dominos I always get guys who look exactly like Brian telling me to order REAL PIZZA.

Hey Brian, relax man. When I'm craving pizza I don't order Dominos. When I'm feel unhealthy and I've had a few (lot) drinks that's when I crave Dominos. When I'm up at 1am in Syracuse doing a paper I put off for 3 weeks, that's when I'm eating Dominos. Today is New York City's first Friday with outdoor seating at bars open again. Yeah, I'm probably going to mess around and have a few beverages. I'll stumble back in my apartment around 8:00 and you know what? I'm probably going to order Dominos because Major League Baseball's graphics guy pulled this shit and tricked my brain. I can't do anything about it at this point. 

Oh yeah and I checked just for good measure. Of course I have a free pizza waiting because I'm an unhealthy piece of shit.  MOTHERFUCKER I have no choice now. I have been eating so unhealthy lately. The other day I almost texted my mom because of the chest pains I was having. Now this?

It has been an unpleasant morning to say the least, but hey baseball is back right?!