Iowa Never Stood A Chance Against Gonzaga Because The Bulldogs Were Promised A Trip To Benihana If They Won
USA TODAY- Gonzaga routed No. 7 Iowa on its way to a a long-elusive Sweet Sixteen date. Kyle Wiltjer had 24 of the Zags’ 87 points, and added seven rebounds. Simply put, Wiltjer was utterly unstoppable, and after the game, he gave away the key to his success in his press conference. “And for me, I mean, tonight we were extra motivated because we were going to dinner last night and we passed one of my favorite restaurants, Benihana, and we ware going to a burger joint. So I was like, coach, we should go to Benihana. ANd one of our assistants said, ‘Hey, if you get the win tonight, we’ll go to Benihana in Houston.’ So I was extra motivated because now we get to go to Benihana. So I’m hyped.” First, it’s incredible how excited Wiltjer is about teppanyaki. Wiltjer’s zeal for hibachi steak is greater than any emotion I’ve ever felt in my life. How one person can be this excited about Benihana will never cease to amaze me, but I respect his passion and it’s impossible to doubt the role it played in Gonzaga’s victory. Second, what was the coaching staff doing taking the team to a burger joint? Of all the nutritional options at their disposal, how did they land on burger joint? Was a salad out of the question? Maybe a banana or two? Some complex carbohydrates? Gonzaga was running on burger grease and fried potatoes. Whatever, the Zags won by 19 so who am I to question their methods.
Oh come on! Well there it is. There’s the reason Gonzaga blew the doors off Iowa last night. They were promised a meal at a nice restaurant if they won. Improper benefits much? Can we suspend them from the tournament and allow Iowa to advance to the Sweet 16*? That sounds like something that should happen. You can’t just offer up meals to players in exchange for wins. That’s not how the system works despite the system being so fucking broken I don’t understand how it actually works. If a homeless kid can get jettisoned from his football team for accepting free housing from a friend then I think a team can be suspended from the tourney for providing teriyaki steak to their players. And don’t tell me this Kyle Wiltjer kid wasn’t motivated by the meal he was gonna have in Houston if they won. You ever been offered food in exchange for a service? Of course you have and I bet it was the best work you’ve ever done. Food is the ultimate currency. Wiltjer was unreal last night. Dude was lights out from behind the arc. He was 4 of 6 from 3 point land and had a game-high 24 points. Blasphemy. Absolute blasphemy. I’ve never had Benihana but it must be pretty damn good for the kid to perform like that. If we could promise Aaron White slices of Casey’s breakfast pizza in exchange for wins we’d be a lock for Indianapolis.
*No idea what the grounds for kicking them outta the tournament would be but I expect Fran and the boys to be preparing for UCLA as we speak. Ya know, just in case the NCAA suspends Gonzaga which they should. Improper benefits are improper benefits, people. Gotta play by the rule book even if the rule book stinks. Iowa coming for that ass Alford!