Congrats On The Sex (Again): Man U Star Harry Maguire Announces Birth Of Child, 9 Months After $105 Million Transfer

There are a couple things Harry Maguire loves. He loves having a big day and immediately getting his wife pregnant because of that. His first kid came 9 months to the day after England beat Columbia in the World Cup

This time it was 9 months and 5 days after he signed a $105 million (thanks google to convert pound to dollars) contract with Manchester United. Now obviously we don't know the due date or that shit, so we're running with the 9 months and 5 days because it's a better story. So we're running with that. 

The 27-year-old joined the Red Devils for £85million on August 5 last year following a protracted summer transfer chase.

Just imagine what's going to happen if Manchester United wins the, ah nevermind, they ain't winning the EPL any time soon. All I know is fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you. It's no secret how Maguire and his fiancee Fern Hawkins like to celebrate. 

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So congrats on the sex to the happy couple. The real thing here is Harry Maguire's come up. Starts his career with Sheffield United as an 18-year old. Moves to Hull City when he's 21 and helps get them promoted to the Premier League. After that heads to Leicester City for a couple of years, makes the English National Team. Not a bad life. Even nicer when you sign an 85 million pound contract when you're 26. 

I hope he listens to Podfathers, lord knows that big lovable guy Clem and Large have helped me. 

PS: Yeah, I said $105 million contract. That's the transfer. Apparently numbers are all over the place. He reportedly makes $85.6 million dollars over the 7 years. Whatever it is, you get the point, he's rich.