This Pig That Led Cops On A 45+ Minute Chase Is The Fastest Riser In The NFL Draft

Three words: Hog Molly SZN

Ordinarily you do not see a draft prospect put out this type of tape the week of the draft. But we are clearly not living in ordinary world these days. Watching 6'7", 365 lb. Mekhi Becton running a 5.11 40 yard dash was impressive. However, seeing these kinds of moves out of a four-legged creature truly took my breath away. This absolute unit not only has an incredible blend of the measurables like speed, agility, stamina, and size that would make someone creating a spider chart sling a different kind of web. But the uncanny vision and decision-making that knows exactly where his blockers are at is what makes this little piggy special as he goes wee wee wee all the way to the endzone.

How are you supposed to defend that?!? I suddenly have a whole new #RE2PECT for the beast that pickled Yo Cespedes being a boar. Because while pigs may be known for being fat, lazy, and delicious, they are clearly hellacious to corral in the open field while alternating between a ballerina and a wrecking ball whenever necessary. Which is ironically my scouting report as well. Poetry in motion with an appetite for destruction.

If I was the GM of one of the 32 teams about to enter a virtual draft on Thursday night, I would only have one Post It note on the desk of my makeshift Work From Home war room

*Two Post It Notes if you are an Old that writes down your passwords