Spittin' Chicklets Producer Grinelli Losing 20-0 In NHL '20 May Be The Most Embarrassing Feat In Modern Times

Smitty4/17/2020 3:01 PM

STATEMENT FROM THE DESK OF GRINELLI:

My statement: Werenski was playing on a team with nasher 5 minutes before we played. Thats like playing on a line with Ovi then going and playing against a beer leaguer. Completely sandbagged.

Mother of God.

Look, I like Grinelli. And I'm not one to throw stones at glass houses. Nobody here claims to be a pro-gamer at anything. But as a representative of Barstool Gametime ((twtich.tv/Fricke_Barstool, notwithstanding), we just need to point out how ABSURD a 20-0 waxing is in NHL '20.

Hey, everyone has bad days on the sticks. WhiteSoxDave can't buy a W:

Private Balls essentially surrenders every battle in Warzone with his below average tactics:

Big Commie T gets his dick kicked in, out, left and right all the time, as seen here:

But even so, all of those occurrences happen every so often. Like the Big T bloodbath in Madden - That was a 48-0 loss. Embarrassing for America yes, but it can happen in real life. 20-0 in the NHL, though? The biggest blowout in league history came way back when on January 23, 1944 when the Detroit Red Wings destroyed the New York Rangers - 15-0. Grinelli surpassed that by essentially a full period.

Let's put it in some perspective: If you lose by 4 or more goals in the office, you're forced to call your Aunt. Those are the rules to Chel at HQ, and now in life because you received that bad of a whooping in such a short period of time. Grinelli lost by 5x that amount. It's almost like you need to try to lose by 20 in order to lose by 20 or you were playing with the controller upside-down while using your toes.

It's such a behind the whood shed whooping that I don't even how to cognitively compare it to something rational?

- Losing by 150 in football

- Getting whipped by 50 in baseball

- A team putting up 300 in basketball

- Dying after forgetting to breathe

Is there anything else comparable? Let me know in the comments in what I'm sure will be in a calm, respectful fashion.

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