Eva Longoria's Hotness Is Keeping Me Company In Q-Tine (And I'm Not Mad)

Kayce Smith4/14/2020 6:21 PM

WHAT. A. WOMAN. People forget how hot Eva Longoria is. And they really shouldn't.

So we're on week 5 of this whole quarantine thing and honestly, I've watched WAY less TV than I thought I would've. I don't know if it's because I usually use it as an escape from the real world after work, but now lounging around while working all day in my apartment is actually the real world, or what. It just hasn't happened like I would've guessed in some sort of hypothetical.

Outside of the new season of Ozark (which was fucking UNREAL) and the movies I've streamed for Barstool Movie Night (all absolute fire picks, by the way), I have only watched one other show.

And that is the early 2000s guilty pleasure, Desperate Housewives.

Now this show came out when I was in Jr. High and ended while I was in college, so it holds a special place in my heart. Nostalgia ALWAYS plays. ABC's prime time TV show on Sunday nights was a weekly staple in the Smith household. At that point in life, it was tough to get me and my little sister to sit together and get along for periods of time (God bless all of you parents with teenage daughters right now, holy shit), but this one worked. My dad started to begrudgingly watch because it was a way to spend time with his three girls in peace. But lets be honest, anyone who watched that show knows it was easy as fuck to get hooked. And Mr. Smith was no exception. (Can't imagine why.)

It was soap opera meets award-winning night time TV. A bunch of women that live on the same street and have an array of drama... cheating husbands, affairs with hot men, divorces, alcoholism, gambling addictions, murder. You know, the normal shit that happens in any given suburb.

I'll be honest, it holds up pretty well. I've popped on episodes here and there throughout the last month and have thoroughly enjoyed my time. I used to have all the DVD box sets, so I admit that I have a bias here. But what is NOT biased is how unbelievably sexy Eva Longoria's character Gabrielle Solis was.

PSA: I'm a straight female. But I 1000% can appreciate a hot woman with the best of them. Any female who can't admit another girl is hot is zero fun, sir. And if I was ever going to swing the other way, I'd personally prefer a little more curves (Sup, Paige?). To each their own though. Everybody has a type. BUT I'd be willing to break my type for Eva Longoria. In a heart beat.

This woman - both on and off Wisteria Lane - was an absolute ROCKET ship.

Gabby Solis was a fucking queen. She put up with no shit.

(Sidenote: Gaby also had a very problematic affair with her high school gardener, but that was 2004 and things like that** were brushed by a lot easier than they would be today.)

***FICTIONAL THINGS, not real life obviously. It's never been ok to seduce a high schooler as an adult.

PS - Shout out Felicity Huffman. Is she still in prison for that college admission scam?

I need - not want - that dress.

Anyway, here are some photos of Eva Longoria. Enjoy.
(I can't use any of her Maxim spread in this blog bc they're all copy righted to the moon, but heres the link:)