Advertisement

Does This Look Like A Right Wing Pastor From Florida That Was Arrested For Fighting COVID-19 With The Holy Spirit?

TAMPA — Howard-Browne, the self-proclaimed “Holy Ghost bartender” and COVID-19 conspiracy theorist... held two large services on Sunday, deputies said, and even bused people in to the church.

The church live-streamed the morning “Main Event” service on its Facebook page, showing congregants shoulder-to-shoulder while the church band played.

That’s why Howard-Browne was arrested Monday on misdemeanor charges of unlawful assembly and violating quarantine orders during a public health emergency, said Hillsborough Sheriff Chad Chronister.

Most recently, at a March 22 sermon, the pastor said the coronavirus pandemic was a “phantom plague” created by the Chinese but also somehow planned at a Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation event, according to Right Wing Watch.

I need a nickname like The Holy Ghost Bartender on my Wednesday night bowling league so fucking bad I can taste it. Although spare me Rodney Howard-Browne in the process. That's the kind of name typically associated with vintage pornstars and mass serial killers. The fact RHB has been alleged to hand out AR15's at his Sunday services doesn't really help your argument against me either

Nothing says Lord Have Mercy, Christ Have Mercy, (Lord Have Mercy, Christ Have Mercy) like 427 rounds per minute. 

Jesus was a crack shot from 600 yards - Mark 4:26

Although to be fair. RHB deserves some credit because apparently he brought in some special machines that were blessed by God to fight COVID-19

“We have brought in 13 machines that basically kill every virus in the place. If someone walks through the door, it kills everything on them. If they sneeze it shoots it down at a 100 mph. It’ll neutralize it in split-seconds.

I love a Baker's Dozen of anything. Such a power play. Mix in the fact that he's moving super secret machines that neutralize corona and I'm wondering why everyone else isn't under arrest? Because to me it seems like RHB is literally doing the Lord's work in all material respects. 

Howard-Browne addressed the issue during the 3½-hour livestream of the Sunday morning service, which started with nearly an hour of music performed by the church band.

And there you have it. Welcome to Carl's Conspiracy Corner. This has a lot more to do with opening with 1 hour of church music than anything else. You go 60 minutes of Taste & See to open things then you deserve to be thrown in jail. It's simply too dangerous to hotbox that many dads with that much church music on a Sunday morning. I'm teetering towards an aneurysm just thinking about it. 

That said, church music can slap in the right dosage. You get a good "One Bread, One Body" on the way back from communion and it just feels different. Nothing like vibing to some good church jams, so without further adieu here's my unofficial list of favorite Roman Catholic bangers. 

# 1 Halle, Hallelujah (Only one I'm going to rank. This is my clear #1)

Here I Am Lord

Eye Has Not Seen

On Eagles Wings

Lord Of The Dance

Be Not Afraid

What did I miss?