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And Here We Have Canadian Gordon Ramsey

Nothing like julienning some onions, seasoning them with some freshly ground Tim Horton's coffee and tossing them into a skillet with a little bit of maple syrup. Also make sure you deglaze the pan with some LaBatt or Molson, and serve them with a side of ketchup chips. That right there is fine dining in the Great White North. Oh fuck ya, bud. 

By the way, I'm in a bit of a conundrum here. On one hand I really want to spend this quarantine getting my knife speed up in the kitchen. You want me to julienne? I can julienne. You want me to dice? I can dice. Brunoise? Buddy, I'll brunoise 'till the cows come home. The only issue is that I'm slow as fuck at it. But on the other hand, I feel like this isn't exactly the best time to go to the hospital for accidentally slicing your finger off. Maybe if I throw on a pair of hockey gloves to go along with the skate knife I'll be good to go. 

Could you imagine McDavid buzzing around the kitchen with one of these bad boys? Live look. 

@BarstoolJordie