The Best Things About Having The Flu For Two Weeks
So last week I came down with the flu. Not corona, so they tell me, but the regular ol' flu. And boy was it MISERABLE. At 31 years old, I cannot recall ever having the flu or being that sick. I'm talking 24 hour a day shivers and fever, inability to eat, some hallucinating, inability to lift my head up, couldn't get out of bed, the whole kitten kaboodle. "But Nate, you still blogged fire flames blogs every day, how did you do it?" I dunno man, I blacked out and just punched the keyboard, the blog doesn't stop just because I have a 102 degree fever.
There are some benefits to having the flu though. Some things actually went in my favor. Always gotta look at the bright side of life, and these are them. The 10 best things about having the flu:
I Have Saved So Much Money
BeforeI fell ill and I was still going to work every day I fell into what I would call a "lazy spell" where I began Ubering to and from the office each morning and evening. I live about a 20 minute walk, and it takes about 20 minutes in the Uber because of NYC traffic, but again, the lazy thing. This ended up costing me about $20 every day, which many in the business refer to as "a giant waste of money". With the flu though, no need to Uber anywhere. In fact, I've only left my apartment and gotten fresh air about 3 times in 2 weeks.
I've also barely eaten. If you added up all the food I've consumed over the last 2 weeks, I've eaten about 3 total meals. Dead serious. No appetite means no spending money on food which means I'm flush with cash right now.
Massive Weight Loss, #SkinnySZN
I now weigh a smooth 84 pounds. Joking...barely. I've lost 15 pounds over the last 2 weeks. No appetite, stomach problems, and incredible amounts of sweat have all combined to make me look like an impoverished child who has been drinking river water through a sock for the last 2 weeks. *Ellie voice* "Ladieeeeessss, if you wanna look HOT this summer, get yourself the flu. But don't get it from a man, men are TRASH."
I honestly cannot recommend the flu enough to shed that extra holiday weight. At one point I was going to the gym and doing cardio every day, eating salads, and skipping dessert, and I didn't see any change. 2 weeks with the flu and I wanna fuck me.
Working From Home Is The Best
I cannot believe we used to do this every day for years. I love working at home so much. You wake up in your bed, get your laptop out, and get to work. You don't need to get up and shower, get coffee, eat breakfast, commute to work, none of it. You just do what you want. You jerk off when you want. You shower when you want. And you don't need to talk to anyone. I haven't spoken to another human being in days. It's just the best. And you get so much work done, so much quicker. There's no distractions like at the office. Now, I think most people who work at real jobs feel the opposite, but Barstool HQ is so distracting that when I work from home I feel laser focused. I want to go lick a Subway pole so I can do this for another 2 weeks.
Attention
People care about you when you have the flu. You're on their minds. They check in on you. Nothing feels better than that. Getting a text from a coworker "hey man how you doing?" is so lovely. You guys would be shocked who has and who has not checked in on me as I've been on my death bed. It's always the people you least expect who have your back in the long run.
You Can Re-Watch Breaking Bad For The 8th Time
Maybe this one is a little more personal to me, but I've been rewatching Breaking Bad for the 8th time and it's still as good as the first time I rewatched it, if not better. I know more about Breaking Bad than I know about anything else in the world. I study and research every last detail. I know every in and out of this show, every motivation, every minor character, everything. It all fits together like a puzzle, it's brilliant. Vince Gilligan is brilliant. Could not recommend a solid rewatch of Breaking Bad while you're home with the flu more. Also, the internet gives Skyler White a hard time and it's unwarranted. Watch seasons 1 and 2 from her point of view- Walt is SO SHITTY to her. Like, worst husband in the world. Every time he goes into that feeble voice he uses when he lies to her you understand her side of it more. And then when she turns into a bad ass in season 4, I wish she got more involved in the meth game. She would have been a strong replacement for Gus.
Drugs
Drugs are cool. Talking over the counter and prescription drugs used as the doctor suggests, of course. But the fact they make you feel better is pretty neat. One second you have a 102 fever, and then you just take these little magical pills and POOF, fever gone. That actually became an issue with me though because I would be shivering and freezing and under all the covers and then the fever reducer would kick in and I'd wake up drenched in sweat. Did that nonstop for a good 6 days. Less than ideal in my opinion. But I got to know Acetaminophen pretty well. It's my best friend now. My blood is 80% Acetaminophen.
You Can Take Extra Days Off Work Because Everyone Is Petrified You'll Give Them Coronavirus
What a great time to get the flu, when everyone is in sensitivity overdrive about it. I would have returned to work on Wednesday of this week, but chose to take the rest of the week out of precaution. Plus, if I as much as coughed, chortled, or walked in a way Dave deemed wrong, I would have been sent home faster than the Buffet Of Bits kid at Barstool Idol. There is a 0 tolerance policy for being sick at work, nevermind when the world is ending and everyone is on high alert. So I got a few extra days of staying home, which is nice. I am getting a little tired of my apartment, but it still beats going to a rat infested, overcrowded, loud, disgusting office every day.
Advertisement
Do I wish I could get the flu again? Absolutely. A small price to pay to save money, lose weight, work from home, and get some attention. The fever and chills and diarrhea I could have done without though.
Honestly, having a fever for 8 straight days was the worst. It just never went away. So painful. I'm still not fully recovered, losing 15 pounds is no joke and I'm just kinda weak now, which is saying a lot because I was weak as hell before. But I'll be back in the office on Monday, brick by brick, sick by sick.
.
.
PS: It's a shame online poker isn't regulated and legal nationwide. This would be the perfect time to play, but there's only 4 states you can legally play. The number 1 question I get is from people who don't live in those states, where to play online. We answered that question here: