I Know It's Sex, And I Know I Have Jeans On

Let’s get something straight. I like jeans. In fact, I love them. As a former college wrestler with muscular thighs and a thick anal area, AE’s Airflex Athletic fits are usually my go-to choice for going out on dates or meeting up with broads. I find them comfortable and I like the way my penis feels on the inside of them. And the outside of them. I’ve never been completely confident in my own skin, so it’s important for me to wear what makes me comfortable when I’m with a girl. In any manner. 

I wear jeans for the entirety of my hook-ups, even during the sex portion, which I have found either drives broads crazy or completely weirds them out. Each time I get ready to initiate my first thrust, I free-handedly wiggle my wiener out of the slit of my boxer shorts, discretely unzip my jeans, wrangle my wiener out of the denim, and then fasten back up the button as quickly as possible. If I cut or scrape my wiener on the teeth of the zipper, I might let out a quick wimper or squeal and need a second to regain my composure, but other than that, I’m good to go in a matter of seconds. 

My rationale: it’s a twoish-minute round-trip penetration, and I’m just going to change back into the jeans afterwards anyway. Seems reasonable, right?

Yet, every time I go into a broad with my jeans still fully on, a common response I hear is “why are you still wearing your jeans?” 

Oh wow! I’m still wearing jeans! That was stupid of me. Thanks for pointing that out.

I am completely aware of what I am wearing. I am also completely aware it is sex. I know these things because I have eyes, I can feel the vagina, and I have common sense. I am also aware that it is socially normal to wear minimal bottom garments or even nothing at all during sex. 

But my question is: who gives a crap? Who gives a crap if I want to wear a pair of relaxed Slim Fits during a missionary trip or horse ride. Who gives a crap if I want to plow a broad into a curb in a snug pair of bootcuts?

I don’t see the point in stripping down to my nude crotch if I'm just going to reverse undress the jeans back onto my legs in two winks of a coal miner's eye. Truth is, I’m a bit underweight for someone my age; therefore I’m not well insulated. I get cold easily and my dick shrivels like a black snake firework in cold temperatures. If the AC in the bedroom is exceptionally powerful, my wiener will retract into my groin like a turtle skull, leaving a small pit that can ironically be fucked

And to be quite honest about this whole ordeal, I now completely regret writing this blog for a multitude of reasons, but mostly because I forget the original article I was trying to resonate with.

Edit: Here it is