"Bat or Fist?" Quentin Tarantino Told David Letterman He Was Going To Beat Him To Death For Insulting Him To His Girlfriend On The Show
NY POST — “Is there any famous beefs you got into that you can talk on? Or do you have to sign like NDAs or?” Nice asks Letterman.
“I got into a great fight with Quentin Tarantino,” Letterman responds. “This was really good.”
I fucking love when Hollywood feud stories come out in interviews, and this one is AWESOME:
Quentin Tarantino calling David Letterman and trying to schedule a time and place for him to come over and beat Dave to death for calling him ugly.
Letterman told the story on Desus and Mero:
“I got into a great fight with Quentin Tarantino,” Letterman responds. “This was really good.”
Letterman says he found out from a guest on his show that a famous star — “so famous that I can’t recall the name” — was dating Tarantino and jokingly protested the relationship based on the “Once Upon a Time in … Hollywood” director not being attractive or cool enough for her.
“I’m thinking the idea is Quentin Tarantino is this movie-store nerd,” Letterman says. “Now I’m pretending that I’m stunned this glorious movie star is dating this little squirrelly guy.” (NY POST)
Now any rich guy — in fact, you don't even have to be rich, just any guy in general —who is dating a hot woman knows this is the least effective insult in the book. Being called ugly. Who gives a shit? It's the main benefit of being a dude: your looks don't matter. Just look at my girlfriend dude. You seeing this shit? You see who is on my arm right now? You see who is going home and getting in bed with me tonight? You think I care what YOU think I look like? I mean you honestly only need like, 0.05% security whatsoever to not be upset about being called ugly.
Apparently Quentin Tarantino doesn't have that percentage in his personality, because two days after the show he called Dave up:
Two days later, his assistant got a call from Tarantino, who asked to speak with Letterman in order to say hello — but had much more than that to express once Letterman got on the line.
“He starts screaming at me, ‘I’m gonna beat you to death, I’m gonna kill you, I’m coming to New York, and I’m gonna beat the crap out of you. How can you say that about me?’ ” Letterman recalls. “And I said, ‘Quentin, hang on a second.'”
He then got his producer to pick up the other line, so no one could accuse him of making the story up. Tarantino went “on, and on and on — like the guy is full-blown clinically goofy.”
Letterman's response cracked me up:
Letterman says he asked, “Bat or fist?” and claims Tarantino responded “Bat,” and the two got to picking dates and flights. Tarantino then allegedly ghosted on the duel. Years later, Letterman says, he apologized for the ordeal.
Like the goofy white dude version of Narcos' "plata o plomo."
And I know Dave was playing it cool and making a joke out of it, and I know he's got some pretty extreme physical advantages, but I don't know man — Quentin Tarantino is not a dude I want to find myself in an altercation with weapons involved.
That is one crazy motherfucker.
Winner of the fight may be up in the air, but we're all winners here that we didn't have to find out. The entertainment world is a much better place with both of these guys in it.