The NFL Admits To Hating Comedy After Allegedly Banning This PETA Commercial From The Super Bowl

I am being 0.0% sarcastic when I tell you that this is the funniest fucking commercial I’ve ever seen in my life. In fact it feels like underselling it to even stack it up against the likes of other commercials. Because this isn’t just a commercial – this is art. Dave Chappelle, The Simpsons, Conan O’Brien, none of these comedic institutions have ever shown me a fish kneeling in front of another, awe-stricken, disappointed fish.

Not once. Not one time has anyone else even attempted that. It was sitting right there for anyone else to do, only PETA had the balls, the wherewithal, the genius to do such. Bro look at the snake.

Snakes, extremely famous for basically just being wet spaghetti noodle serpents from hell, do not have knees. Yet the comedic genius working in the commercial department for PETA doesn’t believe in your little boundaries. Doesn’t care for what you *can’t* do. You wanna see a snake take a knee? Bang, twist that sucker into a cursive Q you’ve got yourself a kneeling snake. That snake just booked a gig as the number 2 on the next episode of SESAME STREET after the good work he displayed in this commercial. I feel like Ari Gold watching Vince in that Mentos commercial. Sometimes you just need one look at a guy to see his name written on a marquee starring in the next summer blockbuster and that’s me with this kneeling snake.

I don’t say this often enough but thank you, PETA. Super Bowl commercials were funny when I was a kid, they haven’t been that way in a long time. Now I know why. Clearly Roger Goodell has been suppressing humor by leaving gems such as this on the cutting room floor.