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My New Life Goal Is To Make Chicago Known For Thin Crust Pizza, Not Deep Dish

This morning this tweet came across my feed:

Absolutely HORRENDOUS in more ways than one.  To start, it's the least aesthetically pleasing hat I've ever seen in my life.  There is zero symmetry and just hard to look at.  Far from 'easy on the eyes'.  But that's not even what offends me the most.  

*clears throat*
*channels inner Samuel L. Jackson voice*

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF MOTHERFUCKIN' DEEP DISH PIZZA IN MOTHERFUCKIN' CHICAGO"

Fuck outta my face with deep dish.  Is it good?  You betcha.  But not more than a time or two a year. 99% of people in Chicago will tell you the same and if they don't, they're morons who live under a rock.  

I'm just sick of Chicago having this stigma.  I mean, look what happens when you google "Chicago Pizza"

ABHORRENT.  If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, Chicago Pizza is thin crust tavern style cut in squares.  NOT deep dish.  That's tourist shit.  Now that doesn't mean deep dish isn't really good, because here and there it is, but it's not what Chicago people think of when they say "pizza".  They think of this:

I get a handful of DMs and emails a month from random Stoolies asking me what pizza to get when they are in town for bachelor parties, etc.  They always ask me about Lou Mal's and Giordano's but I make sure to tell them every single time to hit up Phil's Pizza in Bridgeport (closest to downtown of the best spots) and to only try deep dish if they want to fall into the tourist trap.  

This is a PSA from me to the non-Chicago Stoolie.  I can safely say I speak on behalf of the vast majority of Chicago when I say this, too.