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So Let's Talk About Julianne Hough Running A Cult

*allegedly*. Julianne Hough is totally not running a cult or anything like that this is a joke in case her lawyers are reading this

I saw this on the internet yesterday. An impassioned plea from twitter user, @ryanbloomqvist, to shine light on the fact that Julianne Hough is absolutely running a cult. Well, Ryan, I am going to talk about it because this most definitely IS a cult. I’ve seen enough Netflix Docs in my life to know one when I see one and Julianne Hough has started a cult. I did a little JOURNALISM(google) and I am pretty sure that this is a clip from something called “Kinergy”. “Kin” as in “I definitely used to make out with my brother” combined with “energy” as in…“This is absolutely a cult”. Hough has created a women’s empowerment group dance class. Working out as a group in the dark as you move in unison to the beat of the music while an instructor speaks loudly, but not aggressively and tells you that you have it in your to finish this class strong and that you should sweat out anything in your life that doesn’t serve you. A community of wellness. Now if you’re thinking “Hey, that’s not a cult. That just sounds like Soulcycle” which is great because SoulCycle is also a cult. They’re both white girl Wild Wild Country. A tale as old as time. And you know what…good for Julianne because this is America and exercise cults is where the money is. Secure that bag, girl. People will arrive at her door or convention center and she’ll say “it’s only $40 per person” and they’ll pass over the money without even thinking about it because it’s money they have peace they lack. And from the looks of it…she about to be the Duchess of Dance Cults because she’s been endorsed by the Queen…Oprah

Oprah puts her name on it and now Julianne Hough brings in 15,000+. FIFTEEN THOUSAND in Miami. That would be the biggest crowd for the Florida Panthers all year and it was in their stadium. That is absurd. 15k people swaying with no rhythm, their eyes cloesd, and mouthing *YES* as one of the women from Dancing With The Stars tells you that dancing is your language. Can’t wait for the Netflix doc in a couple years.