Advertisement

The Popeye's Chicken Sandwich Is So Good, People Are Smashing Up Their Mercedes Just To Cut The Line In Order To Get One Quicker

As a self-professed connoisseur of the fast food game, I am ashamed to admit that I still haven't tried the Popeye's chicken sandwich yet, partially because there are no Popeye's within 25 miles of my house in the Winterfell suburbs, partially because I was on a salad kick every time I ventured into NYC to handle my business at Barstool HQ (trying not to be a fat slob 24/7 humblebrag). However I think I am out on the sandwich sight untasted for the same reason I have never tried cocaine or heroin. Not because they are bad but because they are too good. It's one thing for my fatass to go to a Popeye's and wait in line for a while. All that's doing is burning up some necessary calories and giving my human one of its last glimpses of the sun until April or so. But once you have people destroying luxury cars, getting involved in full blown brouhahas, or even being killed over some fried chicken sitting between a bun slathered with sauce, my laisez faire ass will happily go to the next closest chicken/burger/taco joint and mindlessly shove their food down my gullet. Especially if Popeye's employees themselves say its not even as good as Chick-Fil-A (even though that's almost definitely because that poor son of a bitch doesn't want to have a full blown Royal Rumble at his restaurant when they are down to the last sandwich).

As for the idiot who smashed her Mercedes, I feel like the punishment fits the crime since line cutters are the worst people in the world not including people that commit actual felonies. And I guarantee any person that has ever committed a felony is a line cutter because that is true scum of the Earth shit.

Blogger's Note: That entire part of the blog where I said I won't be trying the sandwich is complete and utter bullshit. I would have already had the sandwich if I was able to go into the office this week and have been dreaming of my visit to the Popeye's down the road from HQ ever since I heard the sandwich is coming back and not even a full-blown nuclear war could keep me from trying that sandwich.