Advertisement

Nothing To See Here, Just A Lady Spraying Her Breastmilk All Over People At A Music Festival

Now THAT is how you party at a music festival. I'm not here to kink shame anyone that loves being doused in any type of human fluids since that could get me cancelled in 2019 and I'm sure there have been plenty of crazier things that have happened at music festivals dating all the way back to Woodstock 50 years ago. Someone blasting tata juice out of her mammories makes the music festival sound that much crazier when people that went explain it to their friends (which is the most important part of any good music festival). I can hear the stories now. "The music was bumping, we were all fucked up, and some lady even took out her boobs and started blasting people with her titty milk like she was Katy Perry in the California Girls video".

However as a dad that is a professional blogger with the appearance of a professional blogger, I have to admit I am a little salty. Not because I'm too old, washed, or lame to go to a music festival that has breastmilk showers, even though that is also true. Truth be told, I was too old, washed, and lame to go to a Barstool Fuckin' Foam party back when I was in my 20s, let alone be anywhere near the savage shit that goes on at festivals these days. However that has nothing to do with it. You see, I am no stranger to the look of sadness and despair in my wife's eyes. However, those looks have never been as strong as when I told her I spilled a mere drop of breast milk she had spent a good chunk of time pumping. Seeing this woman casually supersoaking a bunch of strangers with the same liquid that I was shamed for dropping because I slept a grand total of 20 minutes the night before hurts. Ironically, the one thing that could probably make that hurt go away is some of that nutrient-filled milk that has been dubbed liquid gold by doctors. In fact, if you told me this lady turned into She Hulk after being Peter North'd by that Dairy Queen, I would believe you because that's how good for you breast milk is, which makes this picture not weird at all.

P.S. I realize there is a chance this video could be fake since we never actually see if this lady's boobs and I wouldn't put it past someone to run some sort of contraption to fire cow's milk out of her boobs for online clout. But for the sake of this blog, I am going to choose to believe that this video is real like all video were back in the good ol' internet days and this maybe not so sober lady would rather share her music festival milk with strangers instead of the usual pump and dump that any other maybe not so sober mom would do.

UPDATE: It looks real, and ummmmm spectacular? (if you are into that stuff. Again, we aren't shaming).