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Howie Roseman Picked The Worst Possible Time To Get Over His Trade Addiction

NFL: SEP 22 Lions at Eagles

Trader Howie, Trader Howie, Trader Howie. Oh how I long for thee.

There was a time not too long ago that the first thing Howie Roseman would do when he woke up is make a trade for breakfast. Then a few hours would pass by, he’d start to get hungry again so he’d go out and make a trade from lunch. He’d then get home, unwind for a little bit but head right back into the kitchen to whip up a succulent trade for dinner. Seared to perfection. And you know what? It wouldn’t even stop there. Because a couple more hours would pass by, the wife and kids would be asleep so he finally had some time to be all by himself for a little. So he’d grab his favorite bottle, sit down in his chair, and pour himself a nice little glass of trades to cap off the night. It was all this man could ever think about. Sam Bradford to the Vikings for a 1st rounder. A 4th rounder for Jay Ajayi. Jordan Matthews and a 3rd for Ronald Darby. Michael Bennett. Tim Jernigan. If there was a trade out there to make, Howie was going to get it done because the man was addicted to the trade game. The Golden Tate trade ended up sucking but he still pulled the trigger anyway.

Now we get to 2019. We’ll start off with Jadeveon Clowney becoming available. Not that the Eagles necessarily need a guy like Clowney but it still seemed like a move that Trader Howie would make. But then Seattle comes in and gets Clowney for a 3rd round pick and a couple of players. No big deal though because around the same time, Minkah Fitzpatrick becomes available. Everybody knows that the Eagles’ secondary is horrifically trash so this would be a great addition, the exact type of move that Trader Howie could make to catapult this Eagles team into Super Bowl favorites. But then Pittsburgh comes in and gets Minkah Fitzpatrick for a 1st round pick and a couple of pick swaps. No big deal though because around the same time, Jalen Ramsey asked for a trade out of Jacksonville. Now the Eagles had a chance to go after the best cornerback in the game right now and he’s only 24-years-old. Not only would the move help this team out immediately, but it would be an addition that would set this team up to be a legitimate contender for years to come.

But you were all alive yesterday so you know what happened.

Here’s the thing–I know that Howie was in on the Ramsey offers from the jump. And I realize that when Shad Khan said that they weren’t going to trade Ramsey, that was just code for “okay here’s the last call for everybody to hand in their final offer to grossly overpay us and mortgage your entire future on Jalen Ramsey”. And I can at least give Howie credit to not letting Shad Khan completely bend him over like that. He put multiple offers on the table and I guess two first-rounders and a 4th was too much. The only issue is…well…the Eagles fucking suck at drafting.

So what good does holding onto those draft picks do when you have no idea how to draft? This is the way things work around here: Howie Roseman is bad at drafting. The Eagles aren’t very good because they can’t draft well. Then Howie Roseman comes in and makes a trade to recover from a shitty draft. Then the Eagles are one of the best teams in football because Howie Roseman can wheel and deal like no other.

Or at least that’s how it used to work around here. But now after Clowney, Fitzpatrick and Ramsey have all been moved? It just seems like Howie Roseman picked the worst possible year to clean up his trade addiction. The good news, though, is that there’s still hope. There’s still plenty of time to go out there and get a guy like Patrick Peterson or Chris Harris or Emmanuel Sanders or AJ Green. I refuse to believe that we’ve seen the last of Trader Howie.

@BarstoolJordie