Does Taylor Swift Need Enforcers After The LA Kings Decided To Cover Up Her Banner At Staples Center?
So here’s a little breaking news for all you boys and girls back home–the Los Angeles Kings stink. They’re just not very good at playing ice hockey. Not an opinion, strictly a fact. Since winning their 2nd Stanley Cup in 3 years back in 2014, they’ve only won 1 playoff game. They missed the playoffs the year after, lost 4-1 in the first round to San Jose the year after that, then missed the playoffs again, then got swept by Vegas in the first round of 2018, and then missed the playoffs again last year after finishing 8th in the Pacific. Soooo yeah, the Kings stink and considering the average age of their team is like 45, I can’t imagine it’s going to get better anytime soon.
But desperate times call for desperate measures. So in order to try to turn around their fortunes before everybody on the team turns 50 and it’s too late, the Kings decided to do they only thing they possibly could to get themselves on track. They decided to cover up the Taylor Swift “most sold out performances” banner at Staples Center for all future home Kings games.
In case you’re trying to figure out just what in the frick Kings fans would have against Taylor Swift, they think that the banner cursed the team due to the fact that they haven’t won another Stanley Cup since it’s been up there. Not the fact that, again, the team is old as shit in a league filled with a bunch of 21-year-olds who are the best players in the world. And you know what? I have no issues with the fans thinking that the banner is cursed because as a Philly sports fan, I get it. You want to believe in curses way more than you want to accept the fact that maybe your teams just aren’t very good. So I’m all on board with the curse and all on board with covering up the banner. Everybody loves a good curse and there’s no better story in sports than a curse being broken. And for the home opener, it worked. Picked up a nice little 7-4 win over the Predators on Saturday. Curse broken?
Not so fast, my friend.
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Well,,,,,yikes. Turns out the curse isn’t broken after all. Even worse, it seems like there’s a chance the the Vegas Golden Knights were able to put a little extra juice back into the curse while they were at it. So now we have a major issue here.
Does Taylor Swift need enforcers? I mean it would be one thing if the Kings covered up the banner and then won every game they played for the rest of eternity. At that point Taylor would have to accept the fact that she did, indeed, curse the team. But to lose at home the very next day that you thought the curse was busted? Well maybe it’s not Taylor’s fault after all. At that point, Taylor has every right to take the next shot. She needs to have someone let the LA Kings know that they can’t just fuck with her banner like that. Maybe have somebody immediately pull the cover off the banner right before puck drop at the next Kings home game? Or maybe hire someone who can actually place a real live curse on the team. There have to be random witches and sorcerers just hanging around LA. Either way, something has to be done here.