Humans Dominate Time Yet Again As The First Sub-2 Hour Marathon Is Accomplished

For about the hundredth time in human history, a person has traveled 26.2 miles in in less than two hours. Legs, lung and heart technology have finally caught up to the likes of automobiles in mild traffic, airplanes, trains, bicycles, tricycles, and even unicycles. A big time look for humanity, just a terrible look for time – who continues to get thrashed over and over again. Every instance of Father Time being undefeated or trying to run up the score on humanity continues to backfire right in his dumb old face. The four minute mile? Dominated. Tom Brady’s whole career has been one long Calvin and Hobbes truck window decal of him pissing all over the grave of Father Time. And now this.

In all seriousness though, if that woman didn’t stop Eliud Kipchog he’d still be running. I don’t know how you tell your body to stop moving at that point. This man doesn’t appear to have broken a sweat nor did he look tired in the slightest. I think if he flew to Chicago and participated in that marathon he’d win and win handedly and then MAYBE need a nap or some pasta but anything less and he’s still got plenty of gas in the tank. What a freak of nature.