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Wake Up With A "Did You Know?": General Cornwallis Was A Great Big Pussy

Charles Cornwallis 1738 - 1805. 1st Marquis and 2nd Earl Cornwallis. British general and statesman. From the book Gallery of Historical Portraits published c.1880.

On this day in 1781 George Washington and French forces led by Rochambeau started bombing the absolute shit out of the British at Yorktown. Washington wanted to attack and reclaim New York City as a revenge game since he lost the battle of Brooklyn in 1776, but he heard that the French were arriving in garbage time to pad their stats and they were heading to Yorktown, the last deep water port held by British forces. So Washington rolled his eyes and said fine and then took his men south in order to trap Lord Cornwallis’s bitch ass at Yorktown.

The Americans and the French bombarded the British fort in Yorktown for 10 days until in the stinkiest battle ever. All of the British supply lines were cut off because they were surrounded so Cornwallis decided they couldn’t feed the horses in camp so he ordered them to be slaughtered and dumped in the river. Only problem was that the tides eventually washed the rotting horse carcuses on shore so the entire city smell of dead rotting animals. Eventually Cornwallis just couldn’t take it anymore and he surrendered…kind of. He was too “sick”

All that figthing, all those dead bodies, dead horses, amputations, blood and guts, none of that stuff bothered Cornwallis, but the sniffles kept him from showing his face at surrender. Fuck that guy. Giant pussy. Part of the fun of winning anything is being able to rub your rival’s nose in shit. Cornwallis stole that from George Washington. Rubs me the wrong way. Anyways, that’s your wake up Wednesday fact story. Have a good day.