Gronk Releases New Statement On Joining Fox Sports After Internet Roasts Him For Being "Inauthentic"

Earlier today people were roasting Rob Gronkowski for his statement on heading over to FOX Sports as a commentator:

“I’m extremely excited to be joining FOX Sports. For the past 25 years, they’ve offered viewers top-notch NFL programming from the field to the booth to the studio. Their deep talent roster is unmatched, which was important for me as I embark on this new chapter in my life because I’ll be able to learn from the best in the business.”

The quote “from Gronk himself” sounded much more like it came from a dead-inside PR robot than this beloved fella:

And people were quick to call him out on it…

In response, Gronk’s publicist and the PR team at Fox Sports have sworn they’re going to allow him to take the reigns and be himself, and Gronk has since released a statement that they promise is authentically him:

Aboard, aboard, for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay’d for. There- my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts in thy memory
’tis more thrilling than thoust joineth Fox Sports,
Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion’d thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar:
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Their deep talent roster be thou unmatched,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch’d, unfledg’d comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel; but being in,
Bear’t that th’ opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are most select and generous, chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all- to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell. My blessing season this in thee!

Wow, indeed. Really makes you think. Best of luck to Gronk in his upcoming endeavors!