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Joaquin Phoenix's Upbringing Was A Fucking Sick Joke

Saw Joker last night and I enjoyed it.
Creepy as fuck, but I think Joaquin Phoenix did a remarkable job.  The rest of the cast (including De Niro) was relatively forgettable, but it's worthwhile seeing it on the big screen if only for Joaquin's idiosyncratic portrayal.
Got me thinking- I always felt that Phoenix was an inherently creepy person, and there are very few actors who just seem equally as "off" (and not just for the sake of appearing "off").  Andy Kaufman was definitely one.  Crispin Glover is another.  Jim Carrey tries to be, but I think he's just an asshole.  Rose McGowan is a female representative of this small group.  And Phoenix is definitely that quirky type that is both fascinating and off-putting at the same time.
Only 3 paragraphs into this blog and I have already described Joaquin as idiosyncratic, inherently creepy, off, quirky, fascinating, and off-putting.  And I could just as easily replaced any of those adjectives with eldritch, spooky, freaky, eerie, menacing, disturbing, bizarre, offbeat, odd, wacko, curious, absurd, unorthodox, and unconventional and nobody would have taken issue.
But what's the most unnerving thing about this freak?
Is it his split lip?
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Or his deep-set junkie eyes?
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Perhaps the way his first name makes you sound like you're hawking a loogie?
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(Stephen Hawking)
There are no wrong answers, but while I have your limited attention, I am going to give you yet another peculiar little Joaquin tidbit that will come in handy when someone brings this movie up in temple today.

"Gut yontif!" to all my Jewish friends, by the way.


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Joaquin Phoenix's parents were members of a cult where brainwashed adults slept with kids, and women used sex to lure in new male members.
The Children Of God viewed sex in general as the most glorious way to praise Jesus and members were instructed to share their husbands and wives.
Children as young as three were encouraged to 'play' sexually with their parents and other adults… But the even greater emphasis was put on the children stimulating each other; they could pair off for sexual exploration at night, after prayers but before bed.
His eldest brother, tragic actor River, was just four when he had sex within the confines of this cultish prison.
The cult did not believe in members wasting time working regular jobs, so Joaquin's family were basically paupers begging on the street for change while living in a rat-infested slum that had no toilet.
When Joaquin was four his family quit the cult, stowing away on a ship from Venezuela to America and changing their surname from "Bottom" to "Phoenix" to symbolize their new start AND to abandon a terrible last name like "Bottom".

- END OF LESSON -


So if you wind up seeing the Joker this weekend and wonder where Joaquin mustered the inspiration to play such a sick fuck, look no further than a 4-year-old boy in South America with a fucked up lip begging for change to bring home to his rat-infested toilet-less hovel while his brother had sex with other children.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Take a report.
-Large
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I mentioned Rose McGowan above only to make a point… Actress Rose McGowan also grew up as a member of The Children Of God cult AND owned a dog with eyes like Joaquin Phoenix.
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Eldritch is an English word used to describe something as otherworldly, weird, ghostly, or uncanny.
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If you need to cleanse your (cleft) palate after reading such a fucking depressing story, the latest edition of Welcome On Back on BarstoolGOLD has my interview with wrestling legend, Chris Jericho… Who was high as a giraffe's dick during our talk.
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