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Knee Jerk Reactions to Week 5: Patriots vs. Redskins

Things to consider while wondering what we’d be hearing about Tom Brady if the Pats put up 13 points on Indy at home:

–Don’t give me any of your guff about how this was only against the Redskins so it doesn’t count for much. I don’t know what guff even is, I just know I don’t want any of yours. Don’t tell me you can’t read anything into a blowout win over Colt McCoy. I am both blessed and cursed with a memory about such things. Games where the Patriots supposedly lucked into playing some journeyman back up quarterback, only to end up making the guy look like 1999 Kurt Warner. I’m talking about 2010 when they faced Matt Flynn and the Packers, or 2011 when it was Rex Grossman and the Redskins. And both times they were barely able to escape with a win. I’ll concede they haven’t faced a huge challenge yet. But what makes this year different is I’m not only NOT dreading them facing Patrick Mahomes or Dak Prescott; I’m looking forward to it. Bring that on and let’s see what we’ve got.

–What it looks like we’ve got so far is preposterously, almost impossibly good. I’ll probably end up taking a deep dive into the numbers in a separate post, so I won’t get too into the weeds here. Just know that through five games, Jerod Mayo’s defense has given up four scoring drives. F-O-U-R. Two of those ended in field goals. And one of the two touchdowns was Steven Sims’ Jet Sweep off of a misdirection, a well-designed, well-executed constraint play in which he broke containment and slipped two tackles for 65 yards. A fluke like that is a lightning strike that’s going to occur once a season or so. But it was one of only two touchdown drives they’ve given up in 68 opponent’s possessions. That is bananaland.

–Everything the NFL has done over the last 30 years is designed to make sure this doesn’t happen. To put that number in perspective, remember we saw a game last year where the Rams and Chiefs combined for 30 drives and 11 of them ended with touchdowns, and the NFL was delirious with the results. The league would eat babies if they thought it would stop defense like this from happening. The cliché would be to say we haven’t seen defense like it since the 70s or the 1985 Bears. I’m saying you’d have to go back further. To the Western Front in WWI. And based on what we saw yesterday, I don’t think even Mahomes can cross the Pats No Man’s Land and break through their trenches.

–One note about that touchdown, Sims set a record for Most McCourty Twins Tackles Broken in a Single Play, with 2. That’s one of those records that might be matched, but never surpassed.

–The best player on the field for either team was Dont’a Hightower, who missed the Buffalo game and played this one like he’d spent last weekend getting injected with the Captain America soldier serum. He went absolutely berserker on Washington. He had a sequence early in the 2nd quarter where he’d read the play presnap and was moving with the ball to shoot the gap and get a tackle for loss. On the next play, he read the rollout, raced downhill, closed the gap faster than I’ve ever seen him move and suffocated McCoy for the sack. Then on the next R-words possession, he did the same thing. TFL followed by flushing McCoy out of the pocket and scaring him into fumbling the ball out of bounds. And late in the game, he and Michael Bennett shot through the line like they were busting doors on Black Friday and the biggest sale item was a Colt McCoy doll. They came from opposite sides of the formation and met somewhere between McCoy’s third and fourth ribs for the final sack of the game.

–The linebacker unit on the whole had another outstanding day in a long string of them. Particularly Ju’Whuan Bentley who haunted Adrian Peterson’s steps

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… and Kyle Van Noy, who had yet another batted pass. But Hightower was the real stand out, getting TV more face time than Gordon Ramsey.

–We’re seeing it every week now. They come out in a 3-4 with a safety dropped down – in this case it was mainly Devin McCourty – keep it fairly basic early on, and then as the game progresses Mayo starts letting them off the leash with blitzes and 2- and 3-man stunts. It works mostly because they can begin every game plan knowing that Stephon Gilmore is going to neutralize the best receiver by himself, and Danny Shelton is going to wreak havoc across two gaps in the middle. Everything else is a matter of solving the variables around those two constants.

–Gilmore in particular is the biggest asset, and not to be taken for granted. Terry McLaurin has been latest the Flavor of the Month in the NFL’s never ending search for the Next Wide Receiver Superstar. And he deserves it. He’s got Future Madden Cover written all over him. And yesterday, he had Gilmore all over him as well.

–Scary Terry has a natural gift for changing speeds to throw defenders off and gain separation, either by forcing them to respect his 4.45 speed by playing off so he can burn them with in-breaking routes, or by making them think he’s slowing down to sit underneath the coverage and then blowing past them. And he did get Gilmore on one of the former early on. But the latter move never worked out for him. Gilmore was physical at the line. Kept him from getting into his breaks. And on a couple of deep shots, stayed with McLaurin stride-for-stride. I can’t help but think of how in 2014 they’d put Darrelle Revis on a team’s No. 2 and double their No. 1 and force them to work to their third option, and wonder if we’ll see that at some point. But the way Gilmore is throwing a net over everybody’s top target is making that unnecessary.

–Is there a better TV moment than when one of the broadcasters is dead wrong about something and nobody wants to correct him so they just let him keep rambling on? I’m talking about that shot of the Patriots bench where Greg Gumbel was looking at Duron Harmon and Devin McCourty and saying how they’re identical twins and waxing poetic about their journey to becoming teammates and it just got more awkward as he went on and no one jumped in. In fairness though, to some people all Rutgers safeties look alike.

–Soooo … you saying about Stephen Gostkowski missing extra points? I’m not about to go all anti-Mike Nugent. He was the best unemployed kicker available and now he’s ours. So I’ll resist the urge to make obvious Ted Nugent puns such as calling him “Shanko Tango.” Missed kicks happen. Again I just caution you, be careful what you wish for.

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–And speaking of people who were supposed to be not good anymore, remember back when Tom Brady had become a game manager quarterback? When he was coming off that bad game on the road against an elite defense and didn’t put up good numbers so he was clearly losing it? Way back like, 48 hours ago? About that …

–Yesterday he lost Phillip Dorsett to a pulled hammy. So given a great slot receiver, a gifted deep threat who’s still learning the system, an undrafted rookie, two warm bodies at tight end and some running backs, he put up 348 yards, three touchdowns, a 106 Passer Rating and 33 points. While missing on at least one deep throw, having one major brainfart in the red zone, having some passes dropped and leaving points on the board. Not to keep harping on Mahomes, who will undoubtedly be the best QB of his generation, but if they were saying these things about Brady after a win on the road, what would they be saying if he put up 13 points in a home loss to Indy?

–The really peculiar thing about Brady over the last season or so is he’s developed this weird proclivity for mental errors in the red zone. I don’t know what percentage of his last few interceptions have been in the end zone, but it seems like there’s been a lot of them lately. Certainly his last two were. Third downs in chip shot field goal range where he forces the ball into coverage or heaves it up for grabs is the most unBrady behavior, and yet we’ve seen it each of the past two weeks. If you’re looking for signs he’s declining – and if you are, you live a sad and morbid existence and I have no sympathy for you – I’d think bad decision making would be the last thing you’d expect. His arm strength, accuracy, mobility are all at peak levels. And he repeatedly did the right think by taking the coverage sack and living to fight another play. He just sometimes goes all Mark Sanchez when there are easy points to be had. It’s not a sign of aging, but it is inexplicable to me.

–Schematically, it was great to see the return of Josh McDaniels’ Optimus Prime offense, where he forces defenses into a certain look and then morphs into the thing they cannot stop. This time with Jakob Johnson in the James Develin role as the key to the whole transformation.

–McDaniels came out throwing the ball, with a lot of high percentage throws to the backs and tight ends, which opened up a deep throw to Josh Gordon splitting a Cover-2 with the middle of the field open (MOFO), that Brady’s mighty, 42-year-old arm just overthrew. He did more of the same on the second possession, only with the offense turned up to 1.21 jigowatts and going 88 MPH to wear the Redskins down and it worked. Both Ryan Izzo and Matt Lacosse caught balls out of a 2-TE end set, which we hadn’t been seeing. And eventually Julian Edelman sat down in the Honey Hole in front of the zone coverage at the goal line for the score.

–It was in the second half when McDaniels started dictating the Skins defense with Johnson, detaching him from the formation outside the numbers and if the defense stayed big, throwing the ball. Then if they went with subpackages, motioning Johnson in and running powers out of the I. That is when the McOffense is at it’s best. The kind of scheme they try to evolve into as we get past the extended training camp that is the first month of the season. Where every play becomes a Stratego board where Brady always knows what your pieces are and which of his pieces will beat them.

–Consider right after the half, when facing a 3rd & 5, they lined up in a 3X1, with Edelman in tight, Gordon out wide and Lacosse in the middle, and Jakobi Meyers on the other side. The linebackers blitzed, Gordon and the outside defender got tangled and went down, and James White slipped out of the backfield behind the trip set, caught the pass in stride and broke a Josh Norman tackle to get to midfield. They followed that by putting Johnson out wide, motioning him in with a check to a run, and Sony Michel ran behind him for the 1st. With the Skins then loading the box against the run, the Pats lined up in a 2X2 with both tight ends on the right and Brandon Bolden the lone back. The defense was in a 3-4 and completely unprepared for a swing pass to Bolden who went in unmolested. [Jay Leno voice:] Which doesn’t happen too often in Washington DC, amirite???

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–Or this sequence in the 3rd, with the Pats up 19-7. They were in 12 personnel with Michel the lone back and both tight ends to the right. Washington was in a 4-3 Over front, with Darron Payne at a 0-shade and both tackles head up on the weakside guard and the strongside tackle. Michel took a jab step toward the strongside before cutting back against the flow for 25 yards. On the next play, they put Michel in the I behind Johnson and Brady hit Edelman on that shallow cross catch and run that ended with him doing that flip over the tackle. That set up Michel’s touchdown from an offset I, behind Johnson as he lit up Jon Bostic and a Pin-Pull block combination between Joe Thuney and Lacosse. Whatever the Redskins showed, McDaniels had a counter to. And the game at that point was effectively over.

–But the best example of what I’m talking about – and then I’ll move on, I promise you; thanks for bearing with me – was on Izzo’s touchdown. Again from the offset I with Michel and Johnson, they sold the play action not so much with one of their signature Siegfried & Roy sleight of hand fakes between Brady and his running back, but with the offensive line selling the run action. I’ve heard it referred to as Drive-Catch technique, the initial movement of the blockers as they come out of their stance. Izzo drove into the edge player like it was a run block, Edelman ran a shallow cross which cleared out the post defender, pitch, catch. Six points. And after Nugent banked it in past the goalie into the back of the goal, seven points. Believe me, I’ll take perfectly accurate deep passes and quick scoring drives any day. But when the Patriots offense is dictating the defense and then exploiting it, that is when they are at their best.

–Try to imagine what it’ll be like if the tight ends can actually start to contribute on a regular basis. No, seriously. Try. I’m having a hard time because Izzo and LaCosse right now are not good. So far this team might have the worst blocking out of that position in the NFL, they had multiple drops and each of them might have the catch radius of the hands on an analog watch. Still, this was a 26-point win so I’ll be kind and call them “a work in progress.” But get me Ben Watson and get him now.

–I can’t watch the promos for “All Rise” without being filled with regret. When I was in the court system I always planned on starting a male stripper business where I’d show up to your Bachelorette party in my court officer uniform, carrying a cup of Dunkins and a Herald. Then I’d say “Did somebody say … ‘All Rise?’” Hit the music. “Dun. Dun. Dun dun dun … Everybody dance now!” I just never followed up on it. And “Sloppy, Out of Shape, Middle-Aged Badge Monkey” remains the one uniform women don’t have sexual fantasies about.

–This Week’s Applicable Movie Quote: “Of all the guys who I thought were gonna make it, Hightower was the one. I mean, if all the cops looked like him there’d be no crime at all.” – Cadet Leslie Barbara, “Police Academy”

–While we’re talking about sex … were we talking about sex? Well let’s talk about it then. Thanks to CBS for introducing us to the DC Rollergirls, the only professional sports team I’m aware of that is named after a fictional porn star. Their mascot is going to be the most popular one in the next “This is SportsCenter” ads.

–The only thing that can compare with being the only unbeaten team in the AFC is being the only unbeaten team in the conference with an easy schedule ahead while walking off the field in front of yet another New England takeover of a road stadium.

Plus the chance to beat two NFC East teams in the same week? No wonder he’s got that impish grin going. Nothing gives Belichick the E.T. glowy heartlight thing like weeks like this.

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–We’ve got a short turnaround. I’m ending this here because we’ve get to work on the Giants. It’s time the rest of the country gets to see what we’re witnessing in prime time again.