Gardner Minshew's Dad Could Beat Up Your Dad And That's Just A Fact Of Life
Listen. Nobody wants to admit it. If you’re fortunate enough to still have your dad around, we all like to think that he’s the toughest dude on the planet. But the fact of the matter is that if there were ever to be a battle royale with all the dads out there, Gardner Minshew’s dad is coming out on top. That’s why Gardner Minshew is Gardner Minshew and you are not.
This man is pure perfection. Probably wakes up in the morning, cracks open a Miller Lite, cuts the grass, rips a few sets of bench press and curls with the same weights he’s had in the garage since 1973, fires up the grill, gasses a few burgers and a couple more Miller Lites, heads to Home Depot, just picks up a ton of wood for no reason, gets home, throws in a lip, stares off to the distance, realizes it’s only 5:30 in the morning and that he still has a couple hours of peace and quiet before everybody else wakes up and just enjoys the silence. This is the type of man who always gets the last slice on pizza night. This is the type of man who has his chair in the living room right in front of the tv and everybody else is scared shitless to even touch it. This is the type of man who catches his kid smoking a cigarette and then forces him to smoke an entire pack in front of him as punishment before driving him over to his buddy’s house who gave him the cigarette and make him watch as he kicks his buddy’s dad’s ass. Long story short, Gardner Minshew’s dad fucks, and he could beat the crap out of yours.