Let's Be Honest: Jerome Bettis Would Stink At Flag Football

This isn’t an ad. I realize me starting off like that wont stop people from thinking this is a paid advertisement in the guise of a blog. But considering I’m about to pick it apart, perhaps that will do it? Probably not, oh well.

GEICO has been near the top of the advertisement game for as long as I can remember. The Gecko is an icon, the caveman literally got his own sitcom, and that goddamn camel tapped into the same level of relatability that THE OFFICE has eaten off of for years now. GEICO usually doesn’t miss. This commercial, however, with Jerome Bettis dominating flag football doesn’t make any goddamn sense.

Jerome Bettis is a Hall of Famer. He had, by all accounts, a perfect career. He retired on top, he had a great nickname, he was hell between the tackles. His greatest strength was just that – his strength. You couldn’t bring that guy to the ground with an arm tackle. You could barely get him to the ground with a regular tackle. So WHY OH WHY do people think that would translate to flag football, where size and strength are completely neutralized by, you know, flags? I’d go as far to say that Jerome Bettis would be the second worst flag football player of all time behind only William “The Refrigerator” Perry. That much surface area combined with current age would be the antithesis of a perfect flag football player. You know who the best flag football player would be? Henry Ruggs III. Not a 50-year old Bus. Especially since you also can’t stiff arm or initiate any sort of contact in flag football, which this commercials seems to insinuate would be the very reason Bettis would thrive in this hypothetical lead. To answer your question: yes, I’ve been mad about this all day. I’ve seen this commercial 25 times today and every single time I’ve had to change my own diaper. Make that now, hopefully for the final time today, 26 times.