Advertisement

Neighbors Plan to Heroically BBQ at the House of a Vegan Who Complained About the Aroma of Delicious Meat

SourceThousands of people are roasting an Australian vegan who took her neighbors to court over the smell of meat and fish from their barbecue — by planning a massive cookout outside her home.

Cilla Carden made headlines this week for her legal beef, in which she claimed the odors from her neighbors’ barbecues had destroyed her quality of life, 9News reported.

Now more than 3,000 people are planning to attend a cookout outside her Perth home, organized on a Facebook page called “Community BBQ for Cilla Carden.”

“Don’t let Cilla destroy a good old Aussie tradition, join us for a community BBQ, and help Cilla Carden GET SOME PORK ON HER FORK,” the event description reads.

The barbecue is scheduled for Oct. 19 — and vegans are not welcome, the page says.

I could easily stay out of this and let a much wiser man do all the talking for me:

As with most things in life, Homer Simpson (Seasons 1 through about 8) said it much better than I ever could. But I must weigh in as well.

God bless, the Aussies. I’d expect nothing less than a pro-meat demonstration from a nation whose chief exports are enormous cans of beer and chain restaurants that feature thick steaks and 10,000 calorie fried onions. I’m glad to see they still have some fight in them. Because I’m afraid my homeland has lost the will to promote freedom and justice this way.

We live increasingly under the yoke of oppression. And not just from powerful government entities, but from individuals. It’s the Tyranny of the One. Where you’re right to the pursuit of happiness doesn’t end where their rights begin. It ends before you ever get to enjoy yourself.

I get it. Vegans don’t eat anything that has a face. Neither do I. Faces are gross. Which is why the faces of my NY Sirloin strips, pork chops and Buffalo chicken strips have been conveniently removed by a nice man in a bloody apron and processed into dog food or something. Problem solved.

But more to the point, since when does Cillia Carden get to dictate what other people get to eat? If you’re lactose intolerant, do you get to shut down Dairy Queen? If you have a gluten allergy, are we supposed to padlock every bakery? Does a recovering alcoholic get to come into someone’s yard and slap drinks out of the hands of us functioning alcoholics? Isn’t the fact that we’ve reclassified the humble, noble peanut into a WMD in our schools enough?

Hell, I’m no fan of vegetables. But I don’t claim the right to barge into her home and tell her to quit eating kale because it’s objectively yukky. I just assume that’s more delicious ground beef for me. Live and let live. Because if we let her objections stand, I ask you, where does it end?

No. The line must be drawn here. Not one slab of meat further. Go peddle your draconian oppression someplace else, Hippie. And to the  good people of Perth, thank you for standing up for what’s right. I’ve always assumed Australia was a few months away from being a barren wasteland of dunebuggies driven by mohawked warlords. But instead, it might be the last civilized nation left on Earth. Godspeed, mates.