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Dicks Out For Carson: The Eagles O-Line's Bare Butt, Balls And Back Will Be Featured In The 2019 Body Issue

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I’m a firm believer that you don’t truly know another man until you’ve seen his dick and nuts. I mean sure, you can be friendly and cordial with the guy. But until you’ve seen their piece, you can’t consider yourself to be best friends.  You are merely just acquaintances.

Now in order to protect the best goddamn quarterback on planet Earth, it takes a special bond. It takes a unit of men who consider themselves to be brothers. You need to be able to trust the man next to you, and what better way to be able to foster that trust than to break out those hogs and put it all out there on the table? Which is exactly what the Eagles offensive line did for this next issue of ESPN The Magazine’s Body Issue.

Just guys being dudes. What more could you possibly ask for? And if I’m Carson Wentz, this is exactly what I’m looking for heading into the start of the season. Actual preseason football doesn’t mean shit. None of it actually matters. But the group of dudes whose job it is to protect you at all costs getting naked together for the whole world to see? That’s how you know that you have a cohesive unit in front of you. All I’m saying is that you can lock it in that the Philadelphia Eagles will allow the fewest amount of sacks in the NFL this year. Lock it in.

P.S. – I hope that after enough bullying we can get Jason Peters to do a solo shoot.

@BarstoolJordie