Breaking: The FDA Says That Drinking Bleach Will NOT Cure Cancer or Autism

Uhhhh ya think?

I am not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure that my PhD in common sense gives me the right to explain that drinking bleach is not a good idea. Ever. And I know that cancer is the absolute worst thing in the world, and having a child with autism is a really tough task for parents, but again, drinking bleach is never the answer. Although if you drink enough of it you won't have to worry about either…

Drinking bleach could actually solve a lot of problems, if you think of it that way. It would definitely help with the problem of stupidity! Natural selection at it's finest. Charles Darwin would be proud.

But seriously, this makes me wonder what has been going for the FDA to have to come out and issue this warning. I'd say this country has maybe two years left, tops. I remember back in like 1st grade where we had to describe what we thought the world would look like in 20 years. Flying cars. Underwater cities. Robot maids. But 20 years later, what do we have? Bleach drinkers and Tide Pod eaters. And people that lick ice cream and spit in drinks before putting it back on the shelf. What a disappointment "the future" has been.