Broncos Head Coach Vic Fangio Isn't Going To Let A Trip To The Hospital For Kidney Stones Stop Him From Coaching Tonight's Hall Of Fame Game

And the award for biggest No Shit Tweet Of The Year goes to…Adam Schefter!

Thanks for dressing to impress, Adam! #VivaLaDunkin

If football fans and degenerate gamblers have been treating the first “game” of the 2019 season like a holiday after spending the last 6 months scratching like a fiend for some pigskin, you had to know that that a Football Guy like Vic Fangio wasn’t going to let a little calcium ball in his body stop him from coaching in said football game. In Canton no less! I actually think the Football Gods would have asked for Vic Fangio to turn in his awesome football name and find a new profession if he decided to wait out this stone in the hospital.

Instead Vic will be coaching from the sideline, probably with his hospital bracelet still on, more worried about the 8th string nose tackle battle than the atomic bomb that can explode from his dick at any moment. And if that bomb happens to go off, the entire football world will instantly know because he will look like this on the sidelines.

Then Vic will get up, dust himself off, maybe break a finger to take his mind off the throbbing pain from his loins, and try to figure out how to stop Matt Schaub and the rest of the Falcons second stringers like any of the other 31 NFL head coaches would. Now lets send it to Canton and see how Vic is doing.

A veryyyy slight limp with a steady pace? Could be better, could be worse.

Current Kidney Stone Threat Level: Yellow

I can’t believe I am saying this. But I think Vic Fangio’s dick may make me watch an entire Week 1 preseason game where the starters will play like 2 series, max. God I love having football back in my life.