It Is HIGHLY LIKELY That Human Civilization Will End In 2050, Says Science

Vice- A harrowing scenario analysis of how human civilization might collapse in coming decades due to climate change has been endorsed by a former Australian defense chief and senior royal navy commander.

The analysis, published by the Breakthrough National Centre for Climate Restoration, a think-tank in Melbourne, Australia, describes climate change as “a near- to mid-term existential threat to human civilization” and sets out a plausible scenario of where business-as-usual could lead over the next 30 years.

On our current trajectory, the report warns, “planetary and human systems [are] reaching a ‘point of no return’ by mid-century, in which the prospect of a largely uninhabitable Earth leads to the breakdown of nations and the international order.”

The results would be devastating. Some one billion people would be forced to attempt to relocate from unlivable conditions, and two billion would face scarcity of water supplies. Agriculture would collapse in the sub-tropics, and food production would suffer dramatically worldwide. The internal cohesion of nation-states like the US and China would unravel.

“Even for 2°C of warming, more than a billion people may need to be relocated and in high-end scenarios, the scale of destruction is beyond our capacity to model with a high likelihood of human civilization coming to an end,” the report notes.

—————–

We’re fucked, but that’s old news. Who cares—it is what it is. I tried caring but nobody else cared so if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Which brings us to the real question: at what point can we start living the “end is nigh” lifestyle? Let’s presume that we know the world ends in 2050. How close to that date can we throw all the rules out the window? How many YEARS do we get to experience a zero-consequence state of nature? Where cops and the military won’t enforce the rule of law; where grocery shopping at Whole Foods turns into foraging/looting runs; where your landlord comes to collect rent and you just kill him instead; where gasoline and canned soup become currency; where we eat whatever the hell we want, shoot whatever drugs we want, and contract every STD in the goddamn brochure because nothing matters, the world is ending, and we might as well enjoy the sunset. How far out does that start?

I’d say five years. If it’s totally irreversible and there’s nothing we can do to prolong our time, I think we get five years where the inmates run the prison. Governments will try to hold us together but at a certain point, you can’t lock the bad guys away because there’s no more space and everyone is becoming a bad guy. Crime is just… survival. Yeeesh, pretty gloomy. We’ll need guns in a big way then. It will be like a mix of The Purge, The Road, and The Matrix. You’ll have to juice. HGH and the clean and the clear… whatever Stallone takes for breakfast.

It might be nice. No more uncertainty about your future, no more creeping doubts about your professional trajectory. Simply a clean, unavoidable buzzer that will sound for us all on a date we KNOW. And until then, let’s make the most?

Think of how many babies will be born lol. Everyone will be banging everyone, constantly, with no hint of condoms or taking the pill at the same time every day to maximize efficacy. We’ll be banging in port-a-potties, on street corners, beaches, ferris wheels. There won’t be a bathroom door without a gloryhole in it.  Committed, monogamous relationships? Pssshh, what are you, a Buddhist? The world is ending, God is dead, bring on the orgies. Guys, girls, gender-non-specific, let’s try everything. Because there are two authority figures that scare people into behaving well: God and the police. And once we know that both of those parents have checked out, the world becomes a build-your-own-sundae buffet of anal and heroin. And as long as I’ve got enough sunscreen, I’m there for it.