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Illinois State Representative Cracks An Egg In A Pan During Anti-Cannabis Tirade

Did I wake up this morning and think I was going to begin feuding with an Illinois lawmaker? Yes, yes I did. But for completely unrelated reasons to this blog at this point in time. After watching this video I am openly challenging State Representative Anthony DeLuca to any competition he can think of. Pie eating, double-dutch, spelling bee, egg cracking, whatever he wants. With the only stipulation being that I’m high out of my gourd and he’s sober as a bird during the entirety of said competition. Because anyone unironically making the “this is your brain on drugs” point with an egg and pan in 2019 shouldn’t be allowed to vote. Let alone be speaking into microphones loudly trying to sway votes in a certain direction. Which he utterly failed at.

This guy stinks. And now he’s just got a pan full of uncooked egg that he presumably threw out, which is wasteful. Call me old fashioned but I want my politicians to be thoughtful towards those who will go unfed tonight and not display such rash careless towards a perfectly edible egg. I would also like to point out that he tried to drop a microphone clearly built to be undropped. That microphone could not be more attached to that table the fact that anyone thinks they could drop it defies reasoning. That’s like trying to dramatically hang up on someone with a cell phone. It just can’t be done.

PS – Even the original commercial from the ’80s has maybe the biggest plot hole in the history of points made.

Yeah I have a question, you condescending prick: what the fuck am I supposed to do with an uncracked egg? Just look at it? Wait for it to expire in my fridge? Paint it, perhaps, in pastel colors for the Easter season? An uncracked egg serves nearly zero purpose. You crack that sunovabitch open you’ve got an entire world of possibilities at your fingertips. Fried eggs? Yes please. Scrambled? Buddy,,,. Cake? Ever heard of cake asshole? Can your uncracked egg bake me a goddamn cake? Didn’t think so. Uncracked eggs are wasted potential. If Jimi Hendrix didn’t crack his egg he would have never invented the guitar. It’s been 30+ years and cracked eggs have been getting a bad reputation for no reason and that ends today.