Manny Machado Just Lost $300 Million In The Blink Of An Eye

When you become rich and famous, a lot of people start digging their greedy little mitts into your deep pockets. If you’re not careful you end up opening a series of car washes and restaurants and recording studios on the behest of others and the next thing you know you’re in debt with no assets to liquidate. We’ve seen countless athletes fall down this dark path and it looks like Manny Machado is the newest name on a laundry list of wealthy athletes turned Store Brand Cereal buyers.

And I know a lot of people out there are like, “Hey Mick Man, this video is clearly in jest! A nice little mascot-star player interaction for the kids at home to laugh at, nothing more nothing less.” And if that’s you, then I have an oceanfront property in Idaho to sell you. I know what checks look like (cheques for my Canadian readers.) There are thousands of witnesses to this transaction. Blooper conned that $300 million out of Machado’s back pocket fair and square. The signature is right there on the hilariously oversized check. Fair is fair. The game is the game. Sometimes you just have to tip your cap to the Madoffs of the world who just see the game a little more clearly than the rest of us. I hope Machado has a fruitful second act after baseball because he’s spending the rest of his days in San Diego playing baseball essentially free of charge. A real shame.