Jeopardy Contestants Being Forced To Sit In The Audience And Watch James Holzhauer Dominate Opponents Before They Face Him Is Cruel And Unusual Punishment

ESPN- It’s a Monday morning in February, and James Holzhauer is standing on stage next to Alex Trebek, the iconic host of “Jeopardy!” Together, they gaze out at the studio audience. “Look at them,” Trebek tells Holzhauer, pointing to the challengers being picked out of the audience for the next match. “They’re going, ‘Oh, s—, we have to face James next.'”

Everyone is still buzzing about what just happened: Holzhauer, a 34-year-old professional sports bettor and dedicated family man from Las Vegas, had just authored the most prolific single-day performance in “Jeopardy!” history. He missed only one question, hunted out all three Daily Doubles — nailing each of them — and capped it all with the largest Final Jeopardy wager ever.

Welp, I guess we can pencil in James Holzhauer as our Jeopardy overlord until literally the day the show goes off the air or someone creates a James 2.0 with a better operating system and quicker motherboard. Because there is no way that any mere mortal will be able to outduel him in a game of Jeopardy let alone a mere mortal that just watched him destroy the two previous contestants as Trebek drops the S-bomb on them. You wouldn’t let cows sit in the audience and watch everything that happens at a slaughterhouse. So why would you let a bunch of meek nerds that waited their entire lives to show off their brains on Jeopardy by witnessing the destruction that’s about to happen to them? Straight up heartless shit. Putting them in a green room or a fucking bomb shelter as they await their death sentence would be significantly more humane than having them watch their impending doom.

In fact, I bet James himself would rather have his future opponents go in blind instead of having that intimidation to go along with his computer brain and cat burglar guts. I know he’s a gambler that is always looking for an edge. But to quote a great man talking about another apex predator:

James is about $58,000 short of $1 million in career earnings after only 13 games. My Clem Guarantee of the day is that he easily gets there since a $58,000 game would be a pseudo catastrophe for him, which is CRAZY to think about considering the one-day record was $77,000 until James’ reign started. I know it’s not much of a guarantee, but I’m also not much of a man.

h/t Jay