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College Professor Arrested For Teaching His Students How To Make Ecstasy

The Guardian – A Japanese university professor could face up to 10 years in prison after allegedly teaching his students how to produce MDMA to “further their knowledge” of pharmaceuticals, according to reports.

Tatsunori Iwamura, 61, has been likened to Walter White, the fictional chemistry teacher in the cult TV series Breaking Bad who starts manufacturing crystal meth after being diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer.

Iwamura, a professor at Matsuyama University in Ehime prefecture, has reportedly admitted getting students in his pharmaceutical science class to make MDMA – commonly known as ecstasy – along with the “designer drug” 5F-QUPIC, in 2013.

You know how everyone is always complaining about how they didn’t learn anything useful in college?  Skills that apply to the real world.  How to do your taxes.  How your credit score works.  How to invest.  How IRAs work.  How insurance works.  Shit like that.  How to be a real successful human and productive member of society once you leave your 4 year fantasy factory on campus.

Well I don’t want to hear any of that bitching and moaning from the kids at Matsuyama University.  Students learning the ins and outs of making their own ecstasy.  Emerging from school as self-sufficient members of the drug trade.  There are few products as hot in the market as drugs, and these lucky bastards will be walking away with a diploma and the knowledge necessary to be their own boss.  They don’t have to rely on handouts – they are fully independent in synthesizing their own MDMA.

Obtaining pure Safrole by natural oil distillation, synthesizing the Methylamine, obtaining and distilling the MDP2P compound, crystallizing the MDMA oil. They can do it all on their own. Completely self-reliant.  Exactly what the older generations are always asking of the millennials.

Not to mention the good they’re doing for society – at a time where depression is basically an epidemic, they’re able to spread emotional warmth, energy, enhanced sensory perceptions, empathy towards others and an overall greater sense of well being.

I mean just look at Coachella.  It’s a cultural phenomenon that’s been flooding our timelines for the past week.  Just a massive field full of hundreds of thousands of kids/customers looking to roll face to their favorite bands and DJs.  And that’s just one festival out of hundreds.  With a marketplace like that you’re leaving college primed for great success.  No “just get a job you lazy millennial” from your parents and salty Boomers – Professor Iwamura gave you all the tools you need to become the most prolific drug dealer in the area.

Of course, the hypocritical narcs had to go and ruin the education for everyone else.

Local drug enforcement authorities believe 11 students produced the drug under Iwamura’s instruction. Four students, along with an assistant professor, have also been referred to prosecutors, Kyodo said.

The university said it would discipline Iwamura and the assistant professor once the investigation had ended.

“We sincerely apologise for causing serious concern to students and their parents,” said Tatsuya Mizogami, the university’s president, according to Kyodo.

Drug enforcement officers, who were reportedly acting on a tipoff from someone outside the university, did not find any ecstasy during searches of Iwamura’s home or laboratory at the university’s college of pharmaceutical sciences.

Lame-os.  Do they even roll?