Every Celtics Fan Needs To Follow This Fool Proof Plan To Ensure A Great Playoff Run
Everyone prepares for the playoffs in their own way. In my life I’ve lived through quite a few playoff runs, and over the years I’ve developed what I consider the perfect check list to both mentally and physically prepare for the epic battle we’re all about to go through together. I promise if you follow this plan precisely you’ll be ready to roll by Sunday at 1pm. Granted this plan has only worked once in all my attempts to actually bring this team a title, but that just means we’re do. Aight, here’s the plan.
1. Watch no less than 10 season highlight videos
It’s important to have a positive mindset this time of year, and nothing does that better than a collection of YouTube videos that are specifically crafted to only show you positive highlights. Go to Celtics Highlights on Reddit and go nuts. Best of Kyrie? Yup. Some Gordon Hayward magic to get the blood flowing? That’ll do it.
2. Play the Pacers/Bucks multiple times on 2K
You know what they say, 2K doesn’t lie. If you want an idea of how the Celts playoff run will go, 2K will tell you. The thing is you can’t be a little wimp and play on Rookie Mode or something. This isn’t a regular season game in January, you gotta set that shit to the hardest difficulty and whatever happens happens. This is where you have to try all the lineup combinations you want Brad to use because if it works in the game the 2K Gods will find a way to implant it in Brad’s brain.
3. Pray
I don’t care who you pray to, it doesn’t really matter but your ass better be speaking to a higher power at least twice a day from now until tip-off. Given everything we saw all year, and now with Smart being out, this may be the most important part of this entire plan. You pray and you pray your dick off.
4. Watch the 2008 Celtics Championship DVD at least twice
It’s important to visualize what you want in life. It’s sort of like when you watch successful people dominate their field it gives you a blueprint on how to achieve something similar. Well what do we need as fans of this team? We need them to embrace “ubuntu”. Who did that better than the 2008 Celtics? Think of everything you want from this Celts team, fromt he elite level defense, the clutch late game performances, the togetherness and not bitching at one another, you’ll get that blueprint in that DVD. Now the first time you watch it, that’s for you, that’s for the hot and steamy feelings you’ll make sure to have. Use that opportunity for pleasure, but that’s why you need to watch it at least one more time for business.
5. Embrace power naps
If you’re like me, sleeping is basically not an option from now until the Celtics raise that trophy. Way too nervous. I’m just telling you now this is going to be both physically and mentally draining, so do yourself a favor and find ways to work in an 18 minute power nap. That number is important, it has to be 18 minutes. Everything about your life should revolve around the number 18, so go ahead and set your iPhone alarms now in 18 minute intervals and get your rest through power naps.
6. Drink as much Dunkin coffee as you can find
This is by far the most important step in this entire plan. Fortunately for us, you can knock this step out AND save a ton of money. Allow me to explain. Did you know if you’re in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, or New Hampshire and are a DD Perks member, you can go get a $1 Med Hot or Iced Coffee on 4/14 to celebrate the Game 1 of the Celtics Playoff run?! It’s true. I would never lie to you about something this important. You’d almost be crazy not to take advantage of this opportunity and let Dunkin’ fuel our fandom heading into tipoff. Not only will you be energized but you’ll rich with all the money you save. That in turn will create enough positive energy that it for sure will translate onto the court. Don’t ask me to explain the science behind that just believe in it and it’ll happen.
DISCLAIMER: Excludes cold brew and frozen coffee. Limit one per DD Perks Member when you use your DD Card or Loyalty ID. Participation may vary.
That’s it, you do those 6 things and you’ll officially have done your part to ensure success for our beloved Celtics. This is going to be a collective effort if we want this team to go deep so whatever you do, do not skip a step. Especially #6, that one’s key.