Leaving WrestleMania Last Night Was Literally Hell On Earth

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I’m not sure I’ve ever endured anything quite as bad as leaving MetLife Stadium last night in my life.

Becky Lynch pinned Ronda Rousey around 12:30am (entirely too late for WrestleMania to end), Carrabis and I made our way towards the exits, and realized within twenty seconds that we were in for a rough one. Not only was it cold, and starting to rain, but eighty thousand people had the same idea as us – calling Ubers back to the city. We called them, and called them, and called them, and called them, to a mix of “All Ubers are busy right now, please try again later!” notifications (which I had no idea they even made) and drivers accepting our rides, realizing the shitshow they’d gotten into, and cancelling on us immediately. Apparently at one point they stopped letting Ubers into the Uber pickup zone. Go figure!

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My app charged me for each and every ride that cancelled, so eventually, the $85, $92, $96, $102, and $105 rides added up and my card just got declined. As I was calling Wells Fargo to get it re-activated around 2 in the morning, Carrabis then decided, let’s just walk as far as humanly possible away from the Stadium and see what happens. Passing thousands upon thousands more fans waiting for trains, busses, and whatever else they believed would get ‘em outta MetLife Stadium’s parking lot, we hopped rails, Free Solo’d hills that felt more like mountains, and crossed multiple highways in the pouring rain until a miracle cab pulled up from the heavens to bring us to the Port Authority. It cost me something like $134 in total, but I woulda paid five hundo on the spot to get outta the shitshow we were stuck in, and I’m not exaggerating in the slightest.

Folks, it ain’t all fun and graps attending a WrestleMania.

Listen to us tell the full tale in podcast form on today’s My Mom’s Basement…