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Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 10 - How Do People Dap So Smoothly?

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-How do people do daps so smoothly? I am unfathomably bad at dapping people up. If it’s not a handshake, I’m screwed. There’s just so many different ways it could go, and I’m always wrong. How do you know it’s starting as a dap and not a handshake? Do you do the back pat? How do you release? So many options.

-Why do flight attendants so heavily insist that you put your tray table up for take off? They act like it’s the single most important factor for flight. Is the plane incapable of getting off the ground if one tray table is down?

-When I’m at a game, restaurant, movie theatre, etc., I always know the perfect order in which people should sit. Not everyone knows each other equally, and there’s always an arrangement that would produce maximum enjoyment for all. Unfortunately, it’s not socially acceptable to act on it and tell people where to sit. Sometimes I do it anyway though.

-Speaking of, when at an event like that where everyone sits in the same row (movies, game, play), I feel pressure to talk equally to the person on my left and right. If I make a comment to the person on my right, I’ll turn to the person on my left and make the same comment. Don’t want anyone feeling left out.

-If I ever find myself in a heavy metal band (unlikely), I think “Hammers and Nails” would be a good band name.

-TBS changing their show schedule used to be truly life changing. In high school, I’d get home every day and watch TBS from 3:30 until dinner around 6. For awhile it was The Office from 3:30-4 and then Friends from 4-6. Sometimes you’d get The King Of Queens mixed in, maybe Everybody Loves Raymond. Whenever it would randomly change, it really was a major shakeup in my life and took me some time to adjust.

-If you’re not Irish, is wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day considered cultural appropriation? I am a full-blooded Italiano and will not be wearing green this weekend.

-When someone swears on a dead relative, that means nothing to me. They are already dead. If you’re lying, what’s gonna happen? Is your dead grandma gonna die again? Swear on someone who is living if you really mean it.

-Sometimes I like to be nosey and look at a stranger’s phone while they text. Just see what’s going on in their life. You don’t know the person so it’s not as rude. I would never do that to someone I know because that’s an invasion of privacy. But if it’s some random stranger on a train/plane I’ll never see again? Yeah I’ll take a peek.

-One time I was on the train (LIRR) standing next to a man with “I <3 NY” on the side of his glasses. They were regular glasses for eyesight, not sunglasses. He was dressed up and had a bag, seemed to clearly be commuting to work. That makes you think he lives on Long Island and commutes into the city for work. In that case, it is an absolutely absurd move to have that on your glasses. Even “I <3 NY” t-shirts are reserved for tourists. Putting it on your glasses you wear every single day is pure lunacy. I need to know that guy’s story.

Thank you for your time.